@Vee glad we’re on the same page, that’s exactly my point, it’s just disrespectful to me as his wife. Like his friends know he’s married yet he’s complementing other women that he saw on the street. Like if I was to have a married friend and she talked bout bunch of men saying they’re “fire” aka hot.. like to me that’s not a laughing matter.
Yeah, I do have Trouble communicating, and see, I am guilty for checking his messages, so I would struggle to bring it up
@Jen yeah I do have trust / insecurity issues, and I’ll admit that. And no it was only once that I read through a specific convo he had, I’m not constantly checking his messages. And maybe for you religion doenst matter, but for me, it does. My husband and I agreed that we both remind each other of what is disliked in our religion. Thankyou for your opinion tho, I respect that we think differently.
@Jess yeah I do admit I have trust issues with men, and I do think I still need to work on relationship and communication..
yeah we have talked bout it, but when I told him I caught him staring, he just said oh, he probably didn’t realise he was doing that.. so I let it go obviously.
But now that I see textual proof, I wasn’t wrong that he actually checks other women. But hey, thanks for understanding and for the advice.
I am a very emotional person, and I envy those who says they don’t get bothered, but I just do. Especially since I actually never ever tell my friends that I see attractive guys, I just respect my husband that much
@Rachel I totally understand, deep down I wish I hadn’t seen that convo, and no I don’t fear like him cheating because he’s very strong in his faith and we both believe adultery is sinful. Also, it’s not really just “guys talk” if he’s actually checking other women.. I just feel like a joke in this whole marriage
Oh no I did not mean something wrong with you! but in the relationship, I get it as I do too because when I was younger I was cheated on that I got no trust😅 and my opinion that worry and fear and want to check is normal because you live him you want him to only have eyes for you which is fair! and definitely adding in the religion it definitely changes a lot. Especially when you are absolutely not allowed to but then seeing him doing it… maybe talk to him about it? You don’t have to specifically call out what you saw if you don’t want. But just re establish the boundary? Something like “hey I’ve just been feeling kinda insecure recently and just want to verify that your not looking at other woman in an attractive way… as I really don’t feel comfortable with you doing it especially since I don’t look at other men”
It wouldn’t bother me. You seem to have trust/insecurity issues to be reading his msgs between him and his friends. Does he know you do that? Obviously attraction exists, we are human beings, whether you’re a religious couple or not. There is a reason you don’t compliment any guy you see as attractive to him, and vice versa. He respectfully kept his thoughts out of your guy’s relationship for the same reasons as you do. I would not make a mountain out of this mole hole
@Jess oh I admit there is something wrong with me, sometimes I feel like a psycho 🥲, but see, I just have the urge and I can’t help it, it’s like I just wanna know what kind of husband I have. Also, we both are religious, and our religion tells us looking at opposite sex is wrong. So basically, my husband expects highly of me when it comes to following Religion, and so I expect the same from him, and I just needed proof that he is the kind of guy I married
Idk i dont see an issue with it. Especially if it’s just one comment and not a common occurrence. It’s normal to be attracted to other people like celebrities etc. if he’s going out and meeting these women, talking to them with intentions of doing so then that’s completely different
And that's fair if that's the rules you have he should respect them. I'm under no illusion my partner has messaged mates saying a girls pretty or anything like that as he's under no illusions my girls group chats are the same xx
It would bother me but let’s be honest some men and women just throw comments like that around and would never actually do anything and love their partner. Not all… yes I know… but this is why I don’t be looking at my partners phone and I’m like nahhhh I don’t wanna see what you say to your guy friends I’m good lol. As long as you’re home with me every night and not doing weird suspicious things I know it’s just guy talk.
If you feel the need to look through your partners phone there’s something wrong to begin with, and if your looking you will always find something.. I get how you could be hurt. I’d probably be a bit hurt too. But I do think it was harmless.
Yes. It would bother me
Yes, this would bother me. I get it that my spouse still finds other people attractive but to be talking about other women with his friends like that is disrespectful to me. If it bothers you, you should bring it up to him. Communication is very important. Even if it makes you look silly if you're uncomfortable about it you should bring it up to him.
@YazmynJade but see, your husband tells you directly. Btw, my husband hates it if I was to compliment any guy, and I mean I usually keep it to myself out of respect for my husband so I expect the same from him. So in this case, he told his friends, but not me because he knows it’s wrong. Btw, we are a religious couple, so we follow the ruling of not checking out other sexes
I mean we had a really handsome plumber round the other day soon as he left I rang my partner told him the work was done and then told him he was very handsome I looked like a swamp troll and he checked the ring doorbell saw him and went yeah he is a bit like Ryan Reynolds ain't he and then laughed me off saying how fit he was. I wouldn't bat an eyelid if he said the same he told me one of my friends looked good for her graduation photos last year and I was like awe yeah she does doesn't she I saw it as a massive compliment towards her from him
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No it wouldn’t bother me , I’d probably make fun of him for it any chance I got .. I think a common misconception that leads to a downfall of marriages is the belief that marriage takes away others attraction.. that’s silly but it’s about respect.. now if he’s talking about fucking other woman it’s a problem but finding a attraction to others and talking shit with the boys is harmless and you shouldn’t be violating your husbands privacy like that . Going through phones is silly. Why do you need to know what’s said in conversations you’re not apart of .