I regret dating my boyfriend

My boyfriend can't do f****** anything right. His car broke down and instead of doing anything to get it diagnosed knowing that he is no f****** clue what to do with cars. He keeps spending money to replace parts and it's not helping. So I couldn't even go grocery shopping for like three whole weeks when we were already running low on food.

He refuses to get up in the morning. Complaining these two tired but I go to sleep later than him and get up earlier than him and I get my s*** done.

When it's time to put the baby to bed instead of like relaxing with him and stuff he gets him all riled up by like tickling him and tossing him up in the air and stuff like that. He claims that it will tire the baby out. No you're just making it harder.

A couple times now. I've asked him to get the baby his medicine when he's out there putting the baby to bed and he doesn't f****** do it. Like one time baby had an ear infection and I asked him to give him some ibuprofen while he was walking around with them to get him to sleep. He brought the baby in and he was asleep. Boyfriend goes to sleep. Then about 45 minutes later the baby wakes up and I'm up with the baby all night and thinking that he already had ibuprofen. I didn't give him any. So I was up all night and the baby was in pain all night.

He barely even pays attention to me. Constantly. Complaining. He's too tired. Constantly ignoring me when I'm talking to him and treating me like I'm not even a f****** person like I don't even exist.

Lying about stupid little things.

When he does need to get up in the morning he doesn't f****** set me alarms to do it and then he sleeps until about an hour before he has to leave for work.

One time the baby was really really restless cuz he wasn't feeling good and my boyfriend being the absolute f****** messed up little s*** that he is, decided to hold the baby down like hold him really tight and not let him move a single muscle and scare the s*** out of him. When I told him to stop he just ignored me for a while. And then gets upset and says that he was trying to help me. How would he f****** feel? If he was having a bad day then someone just grabbed him and held him down.

He gets super pissy if the baby kicks him at night and like yells or like starts slamming himself around bitching.

When he comes home he complains about how his co-workers don't do what they're supposed to do and they're all lazy. But then when I respond with oh so like you are at home he gets all pissy and goes. I help I help. I help whining and bitching. Like yeah you help you help after I tell you to do something like 12 times

For the first 9 months after my son was born, my boyfriend didn't get up a single f****** time to help unless I aggressively shook him awake and then when I asked him to help he said if you f****** pumped I would help you so then I pumped and I have a freezer full of milk that I can't even use anymore because he said he would help.

What? I was fresh out of a c-section. He slept in the hospital well. I was miserable and in pain and wouldn't get up to help me with the baby then either.

We are staying with his parents and they decided that to try to motivate all the people staying here to move out they would charge rent. I paid rent he did not and his parents are so upset with him about it.

I'm sure there's more things but these are just the ones that come to mind

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This….”relationship” is a train wreck. You should definitely opt for being single instead

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This relationship seems really not compatible. You resent him and it’s clear there’s not any good thing you like about him anymore and he isn’t being very competent when it comes to being a dad and a partner. I’d say you should work on how you talk to him. Don’t antagonize him with insults. Sit down and have a mature conversation. If things can’t be fixed after that then you might just need to not be together.

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He sounds no good for you or the baby. I would genuinely worry about leaving the baby alone with him.

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And it sounds like he’s not the child father correct me if I’m wrong but that’s just how I interpreted when I read it so he probably doesn’t feel obligated and if he is the father sounds like a piece of shit you’d be better off with out I would definitely leave him in a heart beat

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she did say she doesn’t truly trust leaving them alone together. That alone would be enough for me not to. You have to trust your partner with your babies. Even if their the father, and you have doubts…

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Woah I had to stop reading at the part where you said he held you son down. That along with the other horrible things he’s doing us a huge NO. If he thinks holding a baby down is good parenting and “ helping” then that’s just alarming. I’d be having serious talks if that were my partner, but if my partner did all those things i would have binned him off a long time ago. You don’t need that

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which part of her expectations are high??? Her profile also states that she has anxiety and can feel judged so this is a strange comment to make. It may be that you mean she is unlikely to find someone who’s fully supportive but that still wouldn’t make her standards high. If you choose to be with someone with a child that young you commit to supporting them, not wasting a ton of money, not neglecting them and certainly not physically assaulting the child.

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From when you said you’re living with his family it sounds like there may be some financial difficulties that would make it difficult to leave him? But tbh with the way things are sounding it honestly seems like even a women’s shelter or something would be better for you and the baby at least so you can just be focused on the kid as sounds like you’re a very competent mum

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If you trust the guys parents, I'd definitely talk to them and him about them helping him learn more with babies and you and him with stress and his energy levels. I had the same issues with my husband and I was not very nice and understanding, I wasn't very proud of my behavior, but I also had my mom who could have helped more, she wanted to, but my husband wanted to be that person for our daughter. Try to focus on what he does right as he isn't in a headset where it matters from you to tell him he needs to do better, let him struggle with it himself, the financial sides and stuff, if you have to split finances it's not a horrendous thing. Dads are more supportive and relaxed with each other, where finding mom friends is more difficult in general, dads don't struggle so much, I'd encourage him to find other dads or parent couple friends and do things together, helps build that confidence and positivity. As far as the sleep thing goes, it is really really frustrating

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My husband didn't struggle with being physical or rude with our daughter, he did struggle with comforting her especially when she was crying all the time in the beginning and he couldn't breast feed 😂 it really just sounds like you have to weigh out the true feelings and if aside from the baby struggle what you guys have had with each other, from my experience everyone I know has their times with their children they thrive with and that they struggle with. I feel that I do a good job with pregnancy and newborn, but ages 6mo-3 years are my most challenging, after that I feel I am more equipt. Husband was really good with daughter at 6mo and now, they laugh and she loves to learn things with him. It helps not looking at the current picture but the whole picture of what possibilities of a father they can be instead of focusing on the times they struggle. And accepting their lifestyle as is instead of fighting it. By accepting, I don't mean staying, I mean respecting but making your choic

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Based off of it and if your lifestyle is obtainable with what you see at the majority of the intervals.

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I was going through the same thing for a while. My SO was not trying to be involved with me or baby life after our daughter was born. Then I bitched. Scared him a few times. Stuff like that. He doesn’t want to be a single person and having to pay child support for two kids until they 18 and having to wonder why his kids hates him. He didn’t want that. So he stepped up. I’m sorry for what you going through. I wish there something I can do for you.

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Uhhhh maybe it's the fact I've been there it's so easy now to say move the f out or something.
But be done you aren't married. Take the baby, put him on child support and go about your life.

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I don't antagonize him usually I just ask him over and over until I do his responsibilities for him

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Sounds like he's got a lot of maturing to do I hope he's at least young because he has a long way to go

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So break up with him, this isn’t a complicated matter. He treats your son like trash and you even worse. You’re an adult, it’s clear you want to prioritize your child so you need to leave this man and do just that.

This man is incredibly immature and sounds like he’s a risk to your son. I’m not saying it will be easy by any means to do things on your own but it sounds like you are doing almost everything solo anyways. I saw someone say you are living with his parents.. if you aren’t already on state aid I would look at applying as well as applying for section 8 housing if that’s what you need to leave this situation.

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What a mess beloved. He seem lazy and incompetent. You can do better sis

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Sounds like u need to get out and get worse ,alos baby sees u ,thinks this is a normal way to behave (leave ).

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she can’t put him on child support. He’s not the baby’s father

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This is all wrong and I’m sorry you are in this situation but you can get out. I’m concerned about the baby being held down, I found it hard reading that bit. Your boyfriend sounds abusive

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Leave him

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Leave him. He isn't helping anyway. You'll probably be less stressed.

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The food issue, call the salvos and get food assistance, don't ever go hungry for a man!! It is hard to ask for help I know, it is so hard. When I called I'd second guess myself or worry reported to social services for financial hardship - but it's not like that at all. Social services would want you and your babies to eat too, and they would be far more upset by an empty fridge causing neglect than a person in a tough patch seeking and getting help!! You are not alone. Please ask for help if you are hungry, everyone decent in this world wants the best for you and your family.

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It is a complicated matter because even with all government assistance that I can possibly get . A job with no child care is extremely difficult and in my state you have to have a job and verify you have a job for a little least a month before you can get child care and if I leave my boyfriend I lose absolutely all my support. No one will babysit the kid. It's not simple. Can't just walk away. Up until my son was born. I was in an even worse situation and at least staying means that my son has a roof over his head and family

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

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4

18

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

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24

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

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12

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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8

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

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12

Do you say "fruit" or "fruits"

Eg. I'm going to buy some ..........

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5

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