Should my baby have her father’s last name?
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I think he’s proven that the baby is best off without his childish ways let alone his last name.
What possible reason except for sexism is there that your baby should have his last name and not yours?
I certainly wouldn't give the last name here. Even if married its still a choice. Imagine 10 years from now this dude isn't even in the picture and your child has his name. Absolutely not. Give her yours and only ever change it in future if you are sure and have a consistent person longterm
If he wanted your baby to have his last name he should’ve signed it on the birth certificate. He missed his chance f him ! I regret giving my son his dads full name & last name. He isn’t even around anymore smh
I would go with your last name. Especially as he isn’t on the birth certificate!
Went through pretty much the same thing as you. Babys father wasn't around during my pregnancy and made up my mind then and there to give my son my surname
Me and my mum have been having this debate as I have both parents last names double barrelled and have always since I was around 10 wanted to remove my dads. I'd say if he was there for you, then maybe, but if you don't show up you don't get to take credit.
@Jordon I was just about to comment the same thing. My baby has both last names but mine is last. I at least still put it there and he still has a problem, so when I get the chance I’m just gonna remove his name.
I went through pretty much the same as you. Wasn’t married to my partner. And he wasn't around much during my pregnancy. I had made up my mind that I was going to give my baby my surname but then my bestfriend spoke to me and shared her experience with me which gave me a different perspective. I ended up giving my baby both of our last names; double barreled.
My kid has mine and dads… dads name is last but he is active in his life and takes care of him… if he is not willing to be there then baby should have your name… I mean the choice is yours doesn’t matter what we say it’s what you want to do and you can always change it later in life
If he can't even come to sign the birth certificate he doesn't get his name on it 🤷♀️
100% up to you. But I wouldn't. You end up being called MRS XYZ your whole life and if you were married before, I get it, otherwise I wouldnt
Babe I am a very strong believer that, if you are not married and you don’t have his surname then why should your child. We as women go through so much for our babies, we grow them we birth them and in your case YOU are the primary/sole care giver. Men claim the baby should have their surname due to “tradition” but when nothing else is traditional and you are the provider, “tradition” for me goes completely out of the window. This is YOUR baby, don’t feel pressured to do anything you will probably regret later down the line💖 message me if you ever need to talk💖
My kids don't even have my husbands last name, they have mine. Taking the father surname is outdated and sexist. They have his last name as a middle name but my surname.
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My children WERE going to have their dads last name.. but because his family caused so many arguments i double barreled it instead.. yeah he got annoyed but idgaf 😂 you do you!
Based off what you've said here, I don't think he's done anything to warrant baby having his last name. In fact, all he's done is given you reasons why baby shouldn't have his last name.
You could always change it at a later date if he does step up and be part of baby's life.
@Josie what did she say that gave you a different perspective?
In this case do not give him the dads last name.
The only reason why women and children take the man’s last name is because it was to prove that they were property of him. It’s an old bullshit sexist tradition that needs to be stopped. You wouldnt spend 9 months building something and call it someone else’s name? Or 9 months painting something and sign it someone else’s name? 9 months creating your own business to call it someone else’s name? It literally makes no sense to me and never has done 🤷🏻♀️. I had to fight my partner and his family to even double barrel my son’s last name, they didn’t think it was fair that MY last name was included 😂😂 so bizarre!!
Just a note - I'm married, and the baby will have both of our last names, double barrelled. Being married or in a relationship is no strong reason that the man's name should be prioritised.
If you were alone for pregnancy, alone for birth, you aren’t together, he’s not coparenting, he doesn’t get a say in the child’s name. If you are to be a single mother, that baby takes your name as far as I’d be concerned x
He doesn’t deserve it oh well 🤷🏻♀️ I hate how men think it their baby they should automatically have their last name when we are not officially together and barely do the minimum when we are pregnant Like being pregnant was the time to show me how you would be as a father in my case I named my son and put my last name first then his dad last name, he complains about our son name and I just simply remind him how he was during my pregnancy and how I did everything alone
I’m engaged to my baby’s dad and he’s gonna have my last name. My fiancé has his dad’s last name even though he was never in his life and is a drug addict. I love my last name and I don’t want myself or my son to have the last name of a dead beat dad. I think your baby should have your last name, you created that life and if he didn’t even have the dignity to show for the birth his name shouldn’t be attached
@Daria ‼️‼️💯
My baby has my surname and the dad and I are still together☺️ it’s an outdated tradition. Do what you want!
If he wasn’t there throughout your pregnancy, and he couldn’t even show up at the hospital to sign the birth certificate, he doesn’t get to have a choice in what the last name is. He’s already proving to be an absent father. Give your baby your last name.
It sounds like he’s using it as an excuse. I see so many kids with the last names of the father that’s not at all involved in their lives and I think it’s a shame.
No cause my babies father lied to me about his name and he nowhere to be found so putting Mine his loss
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No they shouldn't. I told my partner before we got married that i like my last name and i wouldn't take his last name and when we had kids we could do a hyphenated last name but they would have just his last name after i did all the work of growing them and pushing them out. He wanted us all to have the same last name so when we got married he changed his and took my last name so naturally our baby just had my last name.
i wouldn’t. if y’all were together maybe. but me and my bd had planned for my baby to have his last name, but then he started doing things that just weren’t it and he wasn’t safe to be around so we broke up. my baby has my last name.
My partner and I have been together 2 years and are still together with baby but my baby has my last name because in my eyes why wouldn’t I want to share a last night with someone I carried for 9 months
He should've been there at the hospital if he was so pressed about baby's last name 🤷🏾♀️ better luck next time dude
A name isn’t going to make baby any more or less his . He’s just looking for something to complain about . Has he contributed anything for her ?
Your last name
@Asha nope he hasn’t, most he has done was help move things and be at the baby shower that’s all🤷🏽♀️
Me and my ex broke up when I was 21 weeks pregnant. Was originally having his last name however due to him not communicating or contributing to anything I’ll now be giving my baby girl my surname!
My son has my last name and it's simply because we were not married and I'll explain that to my son when he's mature enough to understand
it’s entirely up to you x