Im tired of being the bread winner.

Rant: I love my hubby but I’m tired of being the breadwinner and responsible for everything when he’s so careless. I make 4x monthly salary that he does. It’s not that he’s not working or not working hard. Maybe I’m ungrateful. It’s just that I pay for everything and take care of kids and everything on my own and he just sits there and expects it and gets upset when I ask him to help me w things. I’ve been working and w the kids all day, he gets home at 5 and relaxes playing video games. Meanwhile I get off work, while I’ve been taking and picking up from school, lunch, and working from home, so it doesn’t end for me. I don’t get to relax. So it’s 5. Hw, bath and dinner time. I can’t be 3 places at once and I need a break too. So I’m trying to get kids to do things they don’t want to and they throw fits aboit bath time and hw AND then I have to still make dinner. So after hw and bath and being exhausted, I’m running up and down between the bath and cooking dinner on the stove. And he’s playing video games. If I ask for something he gets upset that he “ can’t just come home from work and relax”… BS. IM TIRED. I DONT GET TO RELAX. I’m trying to get dinner and everything done all before a certain time for bed for the kids so they get enough sleep and i can’t be in 3 places at once. I know social media isn’t real, but I’m so beyond envious of the women who have husband who make enough and still take on a parent role. He feels bad that he doesn’t make enough but then pick up somewhere else?! It’s not about money to me but I do get sad and jealous of the friends I have that don’t have to deal w this bc they are “so lucky to have the means w my hubby doing xyz” they don’t have to work or overwork themselves on their job or even w their kids bc they husband provides one way or another or both.

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@Aliyah Marie thank you. I’m really glad you have a supportive partner❤️

@Aliyah Marie hopefully it will get better soon. Especially since I’m only stepmom technically lol.

I think you need to sit down and talk to him and buy it bluntly. Either you share the evening jobs or you cut your hours and he has to find a job that bridges the financial gap. A lot of people see working from home as not 'a real job'. You just need to be very honest with how you are feeling and what you need help with. Even if to begin with it feels like a bit of a rota but it could be that Monday weds Fri he does homework and bath whilst you do dinner and Tuesday you switch and do homework and bath and he does dinner. Parenting is a partnership and he needs to get on board with that.

What the actual fuck... That is unacceptable but it Is also something you allowed so he got used to it. Changing things is going to rock his world but you absolutely need to stop doing the most for him. I don't care if hes your partner. He's not pulling equal weight. Video games???? Come on. Is he a child? That man needs to be spending any time he has helping you bring in money, taking care of the kids and the house or working on himself. Video games are a no go. I dunno. I would never allow this. I'm sorry that he is doing this but you are also allowing it. Just stop. Let him have a tantrum and then go if he doesnt shape up. You are doing it all AnywY

@Aliyah Marie thank you❤️

@Em I have tried talking with him but each time I bring it up he just gets defensive and upset and we can’t have a conversation :(

@Janae I did enable it too much over time. Started w little things to do as a nice supportive partner. But now it’s too far. I bought him a car and pay the insurance. He crashes the car, gets tickets and I’m stuck trying to figure out all that debt and on top of that, I have to go digging around to find it or get notified when it’s too late, so then there’s late fees and more fees on top of it bc he said nothing and disregarded it all! So bc it’s in my name too I’m stuck w the initial damage and debt but then more!! Ugh. I need to pull out of all of this. Either he shapes up or I’m out. I can’t. I’d only stay for the kids because I love them. And it’s not like I can fight for custody because they aren’t mine. I’m stepmom.

You know what. F this ladies. I’m done. Thanks for your support❤️ I’m too good for this bullshit. New year, getting rid of old bs.

Ok so update. I came at him out of no where abd told him to stay quiet bc I had a lot to say to him and want to know interruptions. I told him to hold his questions and comments for the end, and that I wasn’t trying to come out him but I was just really serious about this. I basically told him everything I was feeling and that this is not the life for me if it’s not going to change. So I said this is his last chance, and either needs to step it up and change this because it’s not OK or I am out. Literally thought same day. He didn’t say anything to me and just changed everything he was doing…….. and it’s still good this day. Not what I was expecting but definitely a pleasant surprise and I’m hoping it will stay this way…..

It was crazy. I literally just lay down on the bed after I talk and he got up and went to the kids and the reading and the baths and asked what I wanted for dinner and just did it…. And they listen to him very well. They seemed very happy that he was doing it too. It was heartwarming for me to see without the kids, reacted, and just listened to him because they like his attention honestly.

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