Please help

I am reposting this from my 2023 babies group. I’m not sure if I am in a DV situation or if this is normal. I have never experienced anything like this. My fiancé has a bad temper and gets mad at me over very little things (I have never had a relationship where someone would get mad at me so easy like this). Every time he gets mad, he threatens to move out and take our 11 week old baby with him. He says she will go wherever he goes and he will hire a nanny to take care of her. I am an incredible mother. I take the most loving care of my daughter and she is my absolute life. Not to mention I am also a physician and I am the main source of income in our house right now. I pay all of our bills, buy our groceries, and buy everything for our daughter. She is also on my health insurance and I pay all of the medical bills from her prenatal care and delivery. That being said, does anybody know if he could actually do what he is saying and take my newborn baby away from me? She is breastfeeding and I am her main caregiver. He does not help with any overnight wake ups, feedings, diaper changes etc. He doesn’t even sleep in the same room because he can’t handle her making noises at night. I do almost all of the baby caregiving. She is my life and I feel like I would die without her. I am so scared of her being taken away from me that I am shaking right now as I type this. Im also afraid that I will be forced to stay with him no matter how mean he becomes otherwise I will lose my baby girl. Im just looking for anyone who has any insight or has dealt with this kind of situation. Please help I am so scared 😭 Additionally, my fiancé is nice 90% of the time and treats me like a queen. The outbursts are random and scary. He is from a different country where women are forced to be more submissive and I find myself always just saying this could be a cultural difference? Once he apologizes, I convince myself that it won’t happen again and that he really loves me.

Show your support

Short answer no primary source of income is yours breastfeeding would be a factor not married so if he took her it’s considered parental kidnapping depending where you live and if you have no custody agreement in place

I’d get in contact with a local lawyer just in case though also look into your domestic violence laws and record if possible next time for evidence in case it ever gets out of hand

@Brianna thank you for your comment. I am so scared. I don’t feel like I could survive a single day without my baby.

Cultural or not is no reason for threats and outbursts. He sounds like he has some mental health things he needs to work on but I would not suggest that to him at this time. I don't think he'd be able to take her if he could not care for her and your her main source for food the courts are t likely to. But it depends on your state. Some are more likely to throw a curve ball than others

This is a cycle of abuse and it will only get worse. He can take your baby if he wants to without a court order in place there is not protection either one of you could take the baby. If you decide to leave don’t let him know make a plan and go where he can’t find you then file for custody or child support to get a court order this will protect your baby from being taken from you. Just know if he does take your baby you still have parental rights you’ll just have to go to court and fight for custody whoever wins the other parent will get visitation rights. Hope this helps wishing you the best. From a domestic violence surviver. Trust your gut over your heart. Always. My ex took our baby from me and he won custody unfortunately he hasn’t honored our court order and I haven’t seen my daughter in over 4 years can’t afford an attorney but for you I would start with filing for child support it’s free. This will protect you and your baby until you can file for custody. Did the father sign

Birth certificate

Which state if your not married yet ik in my state primary guardianship automatically goes to the mother weather he’s on the birth certificate or not he’d also have to prove paternity

No - you are the mom & primary source of income so it’s purely him reacting / acting irrationally & it is emotionally abusive. Have you confronted him calmly about these outbursts & asked what he’s afraid of & how they make you feel? He sounds like he needs therapy & may feel inferior & scared & is reacting with abusive outbursts. This is not normal or healthy, & he may be nice 90% of the time but he shouldn’t put you in an unstable fearful situation. That’s abuse

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌