Anybody's partner work evenings?

My partner has been working nights 2pm - midnight, sometimes. Other times (when he works at another bar) it's almost 4 am that he comes home. Between the two jobs it's really hard to make time for each other. Our daughter is 18 months now, but him being gone many nights and weekends and holidays haven't been easy. I find myself feeling isolated. I sometimes stay at my mom's... I need a mental break and he gets upset that we aren't here every single night and that he "comes home to an empty house" but the majority of the time it's so late, he wakes me up because we live in a small apartment and the front door opens up to the bedroom - so it's hard to get a good nights rest because I'm almost anxiously awaiting him to walk through the door and wake me up. As we all know toddlers are exhausting as it is! Sometimes he works 9 days straight. I know he's working hard to make money, but I make great money as well, and him working like this puts strain on our relationship. I work a 9-5 and also commute 3 days a week. When I bring up his schedule and these hours he thinks i'm just complaining and I don't respect his job etc. Really it's more or less being here every single night alone (albeit with the kiddo) has taken a mental toll on me. He mentions that he's working so we can have more etc. but I feel like he is missing out on key life events. When he's here he also isn't contributing much to household activities because he's always checked out emotionally or sleeping in because he's so exhausted. His time with her in the mornings is doing the bare minimum to get through the morning with her...screen time and then some sort of breakfast at whatever time he feels like it. I don't really ever feel like I get the best version of him when we are together just simply due to him being tired all the time. I just really we could get on a better schedule and spend more time together. Anyone else dealing with something similar with a partner in hospitality/restaurant industry? It's so hard and I guess I'm just looking for some advice on how to keep occupied with just me and our daughter alone a lot. 🤍🙂☺️Being a newish / first time momma is always tough and throw in lack of emotional support it's.... hard! Thanks in advance!
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Kids don’t remember the nice things you buy them. They remember the amount of time you spent with them and how that time was utilized. My husbands work schedule was very demanding pre-baby but he got a different job so he’d have more family-work balance. We took a pay cut because him having a relationship with the child was way more important. Your husband has to do WANT to prioritize more time with the child (and you cause it sounds like you’re barely spending time with each other). My parents’ situation was very similar when I was growing up and we’re not close at all. My grandparents pretty much raised me sjnce I spent all my time with them and my parents divorced in the end.

Same here, I am trying to be more patient and more understanding. I do know i am super emotional and that doesn’t help at all because then i find myself overthinking. The times i see my son playing with him I forget everything and i tell myself whatever lil time he gets from dad i am not gonna take it away by leaving. I do tell him how i feel and we talked as to what we both need to do to make it work.

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