What could I have done differently
Me my child’s father and my child who’s 3.5 went to footlocker to get sneakers. For some reason my son didn’t wanna come into the store, we tried to go in and he was not having it, he was crying saying he wanted to go to the playground. After getting him in the store he stood by the front door and just refused to move, he was screaming crying(mind you we were the only ones in the store so we were causing a scene, all the workers were looking at us crazy). While he’s standing by the door I decide to just walk away because the more me and his dad pulled him the worse the tantrum was getting. So I walked away to go look for my sneakers my child was still in my line of view, I just wasn’t gonna entertain his tantrum.
When I walk away my child’s father starts screaming at me calling me dumb and a bad mom because I’m ignoring my child and leaving him by the door where he can be kidnapped . My child’s father was talking very loud and aggressive so I walked out of the store and left my child with his father.
He then picks my child up and proceeds to follow me out the store and continues saying ima bad mom and he’s gonna call acs and how could I ignore my child who clearly needs me and a whole bunch of other stuff. So because he’s talking loud ppl are staring and we are causing a scene. So I just walked away from them because I refused to argue not only in front of my child but other ppl as well.
My child’s father is calling my phone offf the hook and texting me over and over saying where am I I’m dumb I’m acting like a child. I was completely ignoring all the text and calls because I DID NOT wanna argue in front of my baby. So about 20 mins later after I was completely calm and hoped my child’s father was calm as well I met back up with them.
But when I met back up with them my child was so sad 😞 . He wasn’t crying like a tantrum anymore he was crying like his feelings were hurt and it broke my heart . He kept saying “mommy bad, she left me” I explained to him I just needed a second to compose myself but he still was so bothered. My child’s father said I traumatized my kid and my child is only 3 and he probably thinks I was mad at him and I just feel like I handled that all wrong.
What could I have done differently?
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I agree with the above. Tapping into your child's tantrums could help. Also, it doesn't hurt to have a lollipop or 2 around to maybe make him quiet. Other than that, you did NOTHING wrong.
It sounds like you need to have a quiet word with your husband when your kid is out or asleep. The way HE handled this is completely unacceptable. He should never speak to or about you like that in front of your child. THAT is the only traumatic thing that happened. I am so sorry this happened to you. Children are extremely resilient. As long as he doesn’t see this kind of conflict between you two regularly he’ll be fine.
Next time try and find the root cause for why he doest want to go into the establishment and talk him through it. Explain to him that his shoes Ned to be replaced and then involve him in the process (not necessarily running all around amd grabbing things but more like you picking a few out and letting him try them on and give his own opinion but still talking to him along the way. On top of that; if he doesn't express well with crying try asking your husband to hold onto him while you pop in and get what he needs and then leave. Children of that age can and usually do have a hard time explaining themselves so te next best thin we can do is guess and give them ideas of what thy might be feeling. Keep them in the know (to an acceptable extent) so they don't feel lost.