How should I answer??

He's a widowed single dad from the States and is currently deployed overseas. I'm a divorced single mom living in another continent. We have one child each. We met online. He is retiring in April and intends to come visit me and wants to seal the deal during his visit. I'm stalling it for two reasons - 1) I don't want to rush. 2) I have pending work issues that I need to clear up. He says we should at least get engaged during his visit and then probably give it a year long distance so I have time to figure it all out. Would this be a red flag? I still have to get to know him in person.

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You didn't mention when you met and how long you guys have been talking.

@Sylvia Dec2023. And it's less than 2 months

Sounds like a catfish.

@Someone’s Mom .. I've gotta be wary now. But he's never really asked for anything. But again yeah there's nothing wrong with being on guard!

Uhm sounds sketchy. Have you guys FaceTimed or anything? I would be worried too lol

Too soon, I believe. Just tell him what's up on your end.

@Margo Just once. Cause well he says it's not allowed while on deployment.

@Sylvia I have told him I need a year of getting to know each other. Anything less than that wouldn't be acceptable. To which he said he respects that but at least an engagement would help when he came down to see me in person. I'm not this fall head over heels kinda person over text messages anyway.

@Someone’s Mom Well he texted me asking me for an itunes gift card so that he could recharge his laptop to continue using facebook or whatever (I don't remember his excuse) .. I don't know .. I said I couldn't do it. He immediately said it was okay and kept talking as though nothing was wrong. I blocked him right away. Your words kept ringing in my head all day!!

Sorry to hear that, but it’s good you blocked him. I remember watching social catfish on YouTube and your story sounded identical.

@Someone’s Mom Oh he also asked me if I could get him a giftcard to get his kid a bike from Trek that costs like 800$ cause the kid's birthday was round the corner etc and if I could as his new mom care enough for making him happy. Whatever.. I had to leave the emotions behind and make the dash cause obviously the other person was not truly vested except for the money.

More sounds like cat fish. He will start asking for favors in 3 months stay with an open mind be careful