Sister in law drama 😬😬

This is a long story, my husbands sister in law and I have a passive aggressive history I guess. When I was pregnant, 3 years ago, she had a lot of jealousy, she took a pregnancy test like 5 minutes after we told her and my brother in law and then the next day she had told me that she hoped I’d have a boy specifically because there hadn’t been a girl born in my husbands family (our husbands are brothers) in a while and she didn’t want me to have the first girl. Pretty soon after she found out that I was pregnant, and then having a daughter, she started lying about me to our in laws about really weird stuff like saying that I called her baby fat and called her some random day and told her that I had a list of all of the terrible things she does as a mom that I wasn’t going to do. My husband and his family asked me not to confront her about the things she was saying about me because they didn’t want it to cause a rift between them and her husband, so I just put up with it and it completely ruined any excitement or general happiness around my pregnancy- her lies were constant and never ending. Now my daughter is 2.5 and I found out that she told my in law that my daughter was having a tantrum and was biting and punching my husband. My kid has tantrums like every toddler but she doesn’t punch or bite, she’s never punched or bitten, when she has tantrums it’s really just crying and needing to be removed from the situation so she can breathe. Regardless, my husband said that never happened and that when our daughter had her tantrum it was because our nephew kept snatching toys from her and they both had to go and take a time out from the situation. I want to address it because it’s not fair for an adult family member especially to create stories about my 2 year old, she’s the absolute sweetest and most gentle kid I’ve ever interacted with and even when she has her meltdowns, she doesn’t become aggressive or anything. I guess I’m looking for advice on how to defend and protect my baby without causing a rift between my husbands family and their other son. I don’t want to further any drama or issues but enough is enough and something has to be done otherwise it’s just going to further impact my relationship with that family and my daughter emotional and mental well being. Should I say something to her and call her out? Or should I just completely separate myself and my daughter from them so there is no interaction at all? Or a combination? Or something else?? TIA 😊
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I would have call her out. Because that's unacceptable for her do that. Just because you got the first girl doesn't mean she can be petty. IDC what your in laws say because this needs to stop before it continues down the road. Your SIL is creating crazy stories to make your child look like the bad guy but she's not.

I get the feeling his parents know the SIL is a shit starter, it sounds like they have seen this nonsense before. I would have your husband confront her because that's his mess to clean up, plus that removes the risk of you falling out of character and giving her any ammunition to work with. Your husband should be like how dare you insult my amazing child or my loving wife when none of this is your business or concern. You should never have to put up with toxic behavior just because of the "bUt iT's FaMiLy" nonsense. Grown people need to act grown to be respected and stay in your bubble. Edit to add that I would also kindly and respectfully mention to your in-laws that if this behavior from SIL continues, you won't feel comfortable enough to come around because you feel uncomfortable and disrespected. That might be the motivation they need to stop making excuses for their bratty ass daughter.

I think you could use some time way from them tbh no one deserves to be treated like that because they’re jealous because you had a girl and she didn’t that’s petty and childish!

I wouldn’t be hanging out with them - what relationship are they trying to save?? If the two guys are brothers THEY BOTH need to be handling this together. What’s your husband say and what’s her husband say? It’s all weird, I’d be staying far away and keeping my baby away too 🙅🏻‍♀️

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