How?

How do I tell my husband I am not attracted to him anymore???? He has gained so much weight. I’ve tried to motivate him to lose weight. I’ve tried to encourage him by working out myself. I know this may sound superficial or harsh. I hate I feel this way. He is an amazing father and dad. However he is very lazy when it comes to his health. What else can I do!

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Be honest about it

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I’m sure either way it goes he’ll feel hurt but being truthful will be the fastest and least harsh way to do it

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I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I’ve pretend as if nothing is wrong.

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Maybe just try changing the diet in the house as a start and ask him if he wants to go on walks or exercise with you make it about you if you don’t want to hurt his feelings, just tell him you want a workout buddy lol or you want to do more activities With him so you two can spend more time together. Tell him you want to try a healthier diet.

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If you can, try not to make it about his looks. It might be more reasonable to him if you explain that you’re concerned about what he’s modeling for the kids in terms of healthy decisions and life longevity. You want him and the kids to be around for a long time and neglecting his health feels like he isn’t caring about how long he’ll have with you and the kids, and what they might take from him.

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If you continue to ignore it he will eventually notice

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Is he going though something? Sometimes people let themself go when they’re depressed. I would start the conversation off with that then after a bit if things haven’t changed then I would be honest

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Honestly I'd come at it from the "I'm worried about your health" angle. You can't motivate someone to lose weight if they don't want to. It does sound superficial and harsh but it's how you feel and that's okay.

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Maybe it’s just me and my husband’s way of being honest, especially after all the changes my body went through with our forts child. But he would neverrrr tell me I’m getting bigger or too small but I tell him, Please tellll me if I’m gaining weight if I’m slacking on my health! It’s hard for him to even agree when I saw pics of myself from someone else’s camera! I had a lot of surgeries too that played into my fluctuations but I’m pregnant with baby 2 and I lost a lot of weight and I worked on myself a lot! I have always been honest with him “babe, you need to go take. A day for yourself to the gym you’re looking skinny, I know you’re not feeling your best! I motivate him because I know within 2 weeks he’s like a new man! Motivated and feeling better! He just needs a push. So maybe find a way to be honest and raw and motivate him!

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Cook healthier for the whole family. That’s what I’ve done 😂 mine hasn’t gained weight but I just want us to be healthy. We go on walks w the toddler and dog to the park. I make him go markets, festivals, expos, zoo w me on the weekend (I invite another family along so it’s a family day out) I make sure that it’s at least 2/3hrs of walking 😂😂 I just incorporate heathy lifestyle for us but very subtly, just to maintain our health and current weight. Over the years he’s told me when I’ve gained/lost and I tell him (we were both at our biggest 10yrs ago) and we don’t take it to heart, coz it’s true. He’s told me recently that I’ve lost alot, and that’s true too. But either be honest, or start more healthier habits for you both to follow

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This is so unkind, and some of the comments omg. Imagine if the genders were flipped and OP posted that her man said she was fat and he no longer is attracted to her. People would come down on that like a tonne of bricks yet it’s ok for men to be shamed. Awful.

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It possible he already knows, u should just start off by saying you don’t feel good lately and that u think you both needs to eat healthier for your family .

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Honestly there is no way to go about this and not hurt his feelings if the root of it is that you aren't attracted to him because he gained weight. Now, if it was that he doesn't take care of himself thats one thing, but basing it on weight itself is going to hurt him.

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Guys everything yall are saying is true and the majority I’ve tried. He hates to eat healthy. I’ve tried that route. I’ve tried the let’s go on walks with the dog, I’ve tried the “I am worried about your health” route. It’s almost as if he’s fight against me. I feel like the ball is in his court. Like I mentioned earlier he is so lazy, he drives trucks and when he comes homes, he really just wants to relax. He doesn’t have motivation to do anything else. The depression part could be true. We talk about a lot with each other. The last thing I can think of is a mental health therapist. So we can see what’s really triggering this. He was in shape in early 20s and early 30s we get married and he blows up like a ballon. Idk if he’s comfortable with me or what I gained weight in the beginning, that honeymoon phase of course. The truth is…he knows he has gained tons of weight, but I think he feels he’s at a point where it won’t fall off as easier like before. 😫😫 it’s like he’s given up.

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Divorced at 5 months PP

My husband just divorced me yesterday.

I'm 5 months post partum and I feel like complete shit. I literally can't stop crying and I don't feel like eating and this whole week my milk supply has gone down due to stress and not eating. What helps with milk supply?

The divorce- on Monday at 5am me and my husband had a small argument on text. It was regarding him not catering to my love language. I sent him a video on how women shouldn't have to ask and how laziness can kill a relationship. We've had many arguments regarding this prior about him not catering to my love language and he doesn't buy me flowers or doesn't think of me. Anyways this night, he text me saying he doesn't do Mother's Day and all that, he doesn't want to buy me flowers because my sisters buy me flowers and he can't be arsed with my moods. He said I've not been his peace and said he's done.
I replied "okay. All I want is for you to appreciate me and love me as your wife and mother of your child. I'm not pushing you away, I'm begging you to love me etc etc. I'm done too."

I come home from my errands that morning and he's upped and left. He took all of his belongings, clothes, drawer, tv- everything.

He didn't ring or text me or anything.

The property is in my name and as he left and didn't leave the key, I changed the locks the next day. I feel this is what pushed him over the edge.

He officially divorced me on Saturday.
I'm 5 months post partum and I have a 5 year old from my ex partner too.

I just want to talk about it with someone that's not biased. Was I asking for too much? I feel he just didn't want to be with me anymore and used this as an excuse? Or is that me overthinking....
Input would be nice xoxo

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1

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Partner is giving me the silent treatment

So I was struggling with my postpartum anxiety bad yesterday. My partner and I was out for drinks with family. He kept making jokes about treating me a bit shit.
Which no one thought was funny. I am usually quite patient about him using me as his jokes, but yesterday it hurt.

When we got home I told him it made me feel disrespected. Now he is giving me the cold fat shoulder?! What do I do ?

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wtf moment?

I have been going back and forth with my husband lately. Well not lately it’s been years. He is the best husband and father you could ask for; for two weeks. Then he’s inconsistent. It drives me mad. Then he’s back to husband and dad of the year , then back to same inconsistency. I talked to him about this last night and he said “if i was lovey dovey and acted like this all the time you’d get bored and cheat on me.”

Ok so for starters i know some of you are going to say omg omg omg super controlling omg leave omg. No im not doing that. Im happy he finally admitted his wrong doing and taking accountability for it but id like to know the deeper reason, the what the f has him thinking like this reason, the personality trait reason. He’s obviously scared I’m going to leave him; so much so that he’s doing this dumb shit to prevent it. Past trauma? What do y’all think I can do to get him to see I’m not going anywhere? I’m consistent already, I married him, we have a baby. He really is the love of my life. I have never loved another man like this before.. but this shit is for the birds and he thinks he’s keeping me doing this but in actuality it’s making me lose respect and detach.

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7

worried about a family members baby

So this child is three months old and she isn’t being fed from 10pm till 6/7 am idk if this is normal or safe and it’s been like this since 2 months i believe as she won’t wake her for feeds she goes to the pub drinking most nights with her baby and her baby has already been in hospital with a very low temperature bc she was outside but as soon as she was in a warm car she warmed up and doctors said she was fine she lets cats play with her bouncers toys that go over her and doesn’t strap her in she is cold from what i’ve heard from other family members and they’ve tried to warm her hands and she’s wet herself at my parents and she hasn’t had a spare vest to put on her and i offered her a blanket as she didn’t have one and she declined and she won’t listen to anyone about it she’s already left the baby with my parents for the night to go out drinking and personally i couldn’t leave my three month old because my parents said she just cried and im really unsure whether to report her or not and her house smells of dog wee/poo as she’s never home to look after them and that’s not safe for the baby i understand being lonely but she doesn’t need to go to the pub every night her friends could
go
to hers or her she could go to a cafe that has closed doors not sat outside a cold pub and it’s a bit of a rough pub in my opinion

my parents are concerned btw but they say i shouldn’t report her as it’s not fair but i feel how the baby is treated isn’t fair

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FTM

Hello,
FTM here. At what age do you stop applying cream on nappy area during nappy changes? My 2 year old boy isn’t toilet ready yet but uses both nappy pants/pull ups and regular diapers

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Forgiving a partner…

Long story short - found out 2 months ago my partner of almost 10 years has slept with two girls, one of which he’s been seeing for 8 months - during this time I was pregnant with our third child and gave birth. (She had an abortion)
I found out, he cut all ties (still works with her)
I want to try and move on from this, we have three children , and a home… I can’t face the idea of being without my children half the time. I want to try and make things work. But I can’t stop the intrusive thoughts / images of the two of them together…. Any advice if you’ve been in a similar situation?
Sick of feeling this rubbish, also 5 month pp so hormones/confidence is in pieces😣😣😣

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10

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