Tell me that this is fair

So is this fair? Parent A will be exhausted, and falling asleep on the sofa at 8pm after baby is in bed at 7pm. If baby wakes before parents go to bed, parent B usually goes to him. Parent A then gives in and goes to bed at 9pm. The last couple of nights because Parent B is off work (but Parent A has had work) they’ve stayed up a bit later and both nights baby has woken before they’ve gone to bed. Parent B has struggled to settle baby both nights, he settles, goes to sleep but not being able to get him back in his crib both nights. So Parent A has had to get out of bed to settle him or make a bottle, feed and then settle again. In the meantime, Parent B gets ready for bed and is asleep or back watching TV by the time Parent A has settled little one. Then because Parent B has stayed up later, they stay in bed in the morning and Parent A gets up with little one. 🙃

Show your support

It sounds like parent B needs to have/ do more nights, so that they can practice learning how to settle the baby. Otherwise the responsibility will always fall on parent A. Also, parent B getting to stay in bed because of this is unfair.

Haha! 😂 reading this thinking “oh did I write this” lol I’m SAHM, I do Mon-Friday all day and night wake up (partner does bedtime routine). Which during the week is great. Gets to a weekend, my partner will stay up till 1am (I’ll still see to baby if he wakes up) and then partner will stay in bed till 10am. 😕 I would suggest maybe parent B shadowing parent A on what they’re doing to settle baby. Parent B just needs to keep at it, and parent A to try and take a step back. ♥️ it’s hard when baby isn’t settling. Xx

I didn’t want to be accusatory but we all know who is who in this scenario 😂 My husband *can* settle little one and has just put him down for a nap. He is generally really proactive with little one so I really can’t criticise him at all (hence not wanting to be accusatory etc). He can settle him in the night too, I usually have to rock/sway/hold him for anything up to 40 mins for him to go back to sleep enough to go into cot sometimes but the first day I was back at work, husband tried for 15 mins after feeding him and came to get me because “he wasn’t settling”. He loses patience quickly for it in the night and if little one isn’t settling, he gives up, puts LO down in cot, and I’ll go to settle him. It just feels frustrating, especially when I feel so grateful for him going to little one, I get all comfy and try to go back to sleep, only to be woken 10 mins later and have to go to him anyway, might as well have gone in the first place. Glad I’m not the only one though ☺️

Parent B needs to get a job lol. ASAP.

And I say that simply because parent A is mom and probably is the only parent who can settle the baby at times

@Jade my husband is amazing with little one and works so hard as an employee and as Dad. I wasn’t criticising him at all, he steps up when needed and even when not needed, he’s a mostly equal partner in this parenting journey. I was just airing my frustration at being woken up and his slight lack of patience when it comes to little one’s sleep. Thankfully LO’s sleep was better last night.

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