Financial / life advice - please help (UK only)

I have had a breakdown this morning. After maternity leave my boss allowed me to cut down to part time hours and working from home. So ever since my daughter was 8 months old, I’ve been a full time stay at home mum and worked part time on my laptop every week day morning with her at home with me. At first this wasn’t too bad as she would go down for a 2 hour nap in the morning and I could get lots of work done. But now that she is older and mobile, this just isn’t working anymore. She just wants me to be with her all the time (understandably). I feel like the world’s worst mum as she’s either spending her morning watching tv or whinging at my side while I try to work. And then I get so fed up with her whinging and crying at my side, that I end up telling her off, even though I know it’s not her fault as I know that she is bored and getting no attention. We have no family that can have her in the mornings, and if we send her to nursery every morning we will be worse off financially (and already struggling pay check to pay check). Our mortgage & bills have gone up so much that I can’t just quit and live off of my husband’s wage as it won’t cover it all. I feel so trapped in this and don’t know what I can do. My husband earns around £40k a year. Does anyone know if I would be able to claim any kind of benefits if I was to quit my job and focus on just being a stay at home mum?

Show your support

I assume you already get child benefit? And from September (I know it's a while off) you will get the 15 hour funding. I think a lot of families, myself included, are trapped in that "can't afford to be a stay at home mum but also can't afford to work cycle" It's really tuff at the moment.

If you Google what benefits can I get there is a gov website that comes up which you input your details and it will tell you what you can get

@Kirsty Yes I do already get that and my daughter has got her name down to start nursery in September with the 15 hours funding. It is so tough, feel awful as every morning is just spent with her crying for my attention, and then have my boss messaging me with more work to complete. Just feels impossible to do both now 😩

@Kirsty thank you I will have a look at the Gov website!

Have you looked into tax free childcare before the free hours kick in? It definitely helps a bit. I think unfortunately your husband will be classed as a higher earner therefore the help just isn't there.

@Kirsty no I haven’t, I just assumed as we both worked that we wouldn’t be entitled to any help so I never looked it up! Thank you I will have a look! I know we are in a much better situation than some will be as he earns a decent wage, but it’s crazy how little it actually goes with the prices of mortgages and things these days! Thanks for the recommendation

You have to both be working to be entitled to it so it's one of the few benefits for working parents 😊 once the free hours kick in you can also use both together. Don't worry I totally get it, my husband is a higher earner so if I quit we'd be entitled to nothing too. We ended up selling my car and sharing his just to make ends meet when I first went back to work

Fyi - tax free childcare can also be used for school clubs and summer holiday clubs (when your baby gets there!) But I believe it can be used up until the child starts highschool

And don't feel guilty about what your husband earns. People forget that you don't get £40k a year. The more you earn, the more tax you pay. My husband just got a £3k bonus, sounds amazing, until you realise after tax we got £800. What a joke. Not turning my nose up at £800 but when he was given over three times that, it's infuriating.

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌