Rainbow baby - loneliness and anxiety

Hi y'all, suffered a missed miscarriage at 13 weeks last may. Now, I'm 6 and a half weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby. Couldn't be happier and more scared. All around me, friends who got pregnant very easily, no complications, no loss. I can't help but feel so anxious, and whenever I want to let myself be happy, I'm brought back to how I felt when I lost my angel baby. No one in my surroundings seems to understand. They keep telling me to relax, to think positively, and to look happier because they feel like I'm not. On top of that, I've already been hospitalized twice for severe vomiting. Could feel more alone even though I'm surrounded by experienced mama's... how do you Galls cope with the weight of a pregnancy loss and the anxiety of it?
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I go for scanning I pay for the private ones really helps ease my mind xxx

I had a miscarriage a very long time ago with my previous partner… it was extremely tough. It made our relationship difficult for a while and I suffered the loss for years. When I got pregnant this time with my now husband, it took me immediately to my loss and we had 3 scans before the 12 week scan, just because I felt so anxious. I have been to hospital 3 times too due to hyperemesis but I have seen the baby thrive and that’s the only thing I think helped me. I think I didn’t allow myself at first to accept that this was happening because I was so worried I would lose it again, I didn’t want to feel attached… but now I fully embrace it. I have been doing meditation and trying to think “as far as I am aware, baby and I are ok” and if anything changes I keep in mind that it is out of my control… unfortunately only time helps heal this wound. I hope you have a happy, healthy pregnancy ♥️

Give yourself time and space to grieve the baby you lost. I found talking about mine and crying about how I felt and being really open helped me

I know exactly how you feel. I’ve had 3 losses. I lost my first son March 2020 after he was born full term (they told me halfway through he wouldn’t make it), miscarriage at 6 weeks September 2020, rainbow baby September 2022, and my last loss was this last October at 10 weeks. It is sooo hard and so unfair. I already deal with my fair share of anxiety, and then with all this on top of it, sometimes I can’t catch my breath, literally. Honestly I’m probably no help here cause I’m still struggling myself trying to stay calm. I’m 13 weeks today. But I just want you to know you are not alone and we can get through this! We didn’t chose to go through this and it’s not fair but it makes us so so much stronger and so much more grateful. I am still amazed every day that I have my healthy baby girl at home like I still can’t believe it. Because of what we’ve been through, we’ll never take the little things for granted. I believe you will get your rainbow. 🌈 Hugs to you mama ❤️

I completely relate, I don't really have any advice I just wanted to tell you I understand as even my husband doesn't seem to fully get it. Mine wasn't missed so I think in a way that made it easier but I had my 12 week scan yesterday and I cried with the joy, relief and build up of emotions to see my baby was ok. I had an early scan to check because I'd lost twice before and it does help but honestly it wasn't long before I was worrying again. There's nothing wrong with being sad and happy about this, I was the same plus hundreds of others emotions. I didn't tell many people this time because although there support can be helpful not everyone gets it. The term we used was cautiously excited. Good luck with everything.

Sending big hugs as I totally get how you feel ❤️ I had a missed miscarriage with my ivf angel baby girl at 13 weeks November 2022 and by march 2023 I was pregnant again but this time naturally and I was so scared and shocked. I took each day as it came and had one early reassurance scan and once I passed the nhs 12 week dating/viability scan and all was looking good I booked for further private scans from 18 weeks through to 30 weeks and then I had my nhs growth scans every 2 weeks after that due to my age. Through my whole pregnancy I just kept busy and tried to enjoy the good moments but also was so scared so I just found taking it day by day and trying to keep calm was the only way I could cope. My rainbow baby arrived in November 2023 and is now 3 months old ☺️ it’s totally normal to feel sad and happy, all your feelings are valid. I also found nice gentle walks helped to clear my mind. Lots of luck with your pregnancy and big hugs, you’ve got this ❤️🌈 xx

Thank you for your post and thank you all for responding, even though wasn't me who posted, it was exactly how I feel, so it's encouraging to read everyone's post.

Your all not alone ladies we have each other to talk to about things, fears and worries 💕 ❤️

When I bring it up to people outside of this app, I'm told to stop thinking negative, to think positive. I feel like ignoring my feelings or fears isn't gonna make them go away.

The amount of people who told me to be positive, I understand but they seem to dismiss the idea that it could happen again. Then if it does they dismiss it like it's nothing. All the positive thinking in the world isn't going to make our fears and feelings go away. I lost my last two babies so early, they never really had a chance to be. But that doesn't mean they aren't important. I still think of them often and although I'm so happy to have this baby and starting to believe everything will be ok that doesn't mean I don't still cry for the two we lost and what could have been. We need to acknowledge our loss, our feelings and our fears. Pretending it didn't happen doesn't help anybody and is such an old fashioned idea.

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