Need to vent

So it's SDs first ever parents evening tomorrow, we live about an hour away from the school and her mum lives 5 mins away. A few weeks back mum asked me if we were going, I said I've have to check if we could get there during the week with work etc. We spoke to school, and they said as we live so far when we pick her up on the Friday they were happy to do another one for us so we didn't miss out. Perfect. So today I get a message from her asking if we are going, I said I will confirm but if we go it will be friday after school and not on the actual day of parents evening. She goes oh. We'll I haven't booked in because I thought you were going and we were taking it in turns. Well it was never discussed that we were taking it in turns and why would you not book a slot for your daughters first parents evening regardless????? I phone my partner and said did you sort a half day at work so we can get to school for parents evening on Friday? Oh no I can't have Friday I've just checked, I forgot. I'm 5 months pregnant and I just do not have the energy to be chasing and organising two grown ass people to make sure one of them goes to their own child's parents evening. I'm so mad with both of them for leaving it until the day before to ask who is going now they're both blaming each other and mum is playing the 'Well it's not my fault I thought you were going' like if I ever split up with my child's father you best believe I'm not waiting around and missing out on parents evenings I'm booking my own damn time slot and going regardless of whether he is going or not??? I have phoned the school and I'll be going on my own to parents evening on Friday when I pick her up from school, which I don't mind I love her to bits and she will love me going but I know she'll just be so disheartened that neither of her actual parents have bothered to go. Rant over
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Sorry you’re stressing . They really should have planned it better . Wayyy better

Mum should have booked her own appointment! Schools will happily do 2 separate appointments for split parents (not so much at secondary but always happy to give the same information via telephone etc) Dad should have arranged time off work ffs! Both of them have acted like children needing someone else to manage their calendar instead of like parents! I hope you enjoy her parents evening it is lovely when they’re little and you get to see their work and hear the brilliant new things they’re learning! But such a shame her parents are useless!!!

It's so frustrating! I think I'm more mad for SD than having to act like their middle man. I come from a split home, and my parents always put their differences aside to turn up to parents' evenings, school plays, sports days, etc. So for neither of her parents to make an effort for her first parents evening just makes me so mad for her, she doesn't care if they go together or separately, she just needs them to turn up for her like they should be doing!

Firstly I’d just like to say you sound absolutely incredible for realising all of this etc while neither of the biological parents would’ve known till too late had you not have been there! Secondly 100% I’d be fuming with both, I go to every single one of my daughters parents evenings regardless wether her dad is also going or not, I simply ping over the dates for parents evening once I’ve got them to him and let him sort himself out (he’s not been to one yet) but my husband who has a son from previous relationship, he’s always keeping an eye on his emails from the nursery and asking when parents evenings etc are so that he can go, and his son is only 2! It’s all down to how bothered that parent is and unfortunately you can’t force someone to be bothered x

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