Making friends

Why is it so hard to make friends? Everyone I’ve met and tried to form a friendship just throws their issues and drama on me. I don’t mind being the friend that gives the advice but I don’t think it’s fair to throw that on someone without seeing how they’re doing and if they’re mentally prepared to handle that. I’ve had people spend 45mins-1.5 hours otp just talking about themself and when they’re done, they just hang up… not giving me a chance to talk about myself or my struggles. It’s making me wanna resort back to my old ways and just telling people how tf it really is and about themself but I’m not tryna be that person. All I be running into is users lol, Is it really that hard to have a friendship?
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Hey lady, no I personally don't believe it's that hard. People have a lot on their plate nowadays and just want to vent which is understandable but I do feel many lack consideration for others and need to be taught. But making friends as an adult is difficult I think because people are already set in their ways and some aren't working on themselves. Yes running into users suck lol as it is definitely an energy drainer. Wish you luck! I can be a long distance friend 🤷🏾‍♀️

I've come to realize that the more older we get , the harder it is to make genuine friends. Especially if you're someone like me who's more introverted and has a hard time approaching/talking to people. However, I've had friends from school over the years, and 10+ friendships have fizzled out due to family dynamics or even just grown apart. I'm someone who's good with just one friend, and I must admit I'll continue looking until I find her. I feel the same way you feel. I keep telling myself im going to delete this app due to no progress, but here I am, lol. ❤️

Users are everywhere, abusers are too, making genuine friends is hard but it’ll be worthwhile when you finally find your person

Have tried communicating with them that you’re not in a head space to take on their issues at that time, be honest and up front, it doesn’t require you to be mean or hateful but just kind honesty. Communication in any relationship is vital.

The same way I feel. The one-sided behavior is not okay. We are all moms and I’ll ask people how their kids are doing and they won’t ask me anything, just everything about themselves. I kick myself in the foot for being a good listener but I do like to be asked about myself from time to time.

That's every girl I've come too as well. No one is the first one to text first but me. I'm the only one who'salways checking up on everybody. It's gets annoying after a while

@Maya This has happened to me as well. 10+ years friendships, even from elementary school. They have just fizzled out and close bonds have been lost, sad but lives change. I'm also good with just one as I've grown. I'm here too haha lol!

Maybe you need to establish more boundaries or look into why people feel so comfortable spilling so much

You might be allowing them to have those patterns with you. Building boundaries is not bad and yes I understand, it's tough. Venting is good, to an extent. If you vent to a point that it's irrational, then it can make it hard on friends, I understand. Also, remind yourself that not everyone is looking for advice, something my friend does with me is ask me if I want any and it makes it easier for us to communicate.

Oh I understand how you feel ( I have a few friends like that and honestly I don't ask much but sometimes it would be nice to hear that they are interested in my life and how iam doing not just telling me their drama all the time )

@Olivia of course I have. Multiple times and some of them I’ve even dropped. I just feel like the last couple people I met have all been the same.

@Jem this is the one! Girl, I believe in treat others how you wanna be treated. So if I ask how you’re doing and I’m taking an interest, I would expect the same courtesy especially if you’re “looking for friends” I don’t like having to change who I am to get a certain behaviour or response from others because it would be nice to just be myself and get treated respectfully and equally without having to say it

@Monét I’ve been on that flow of “I’m gonna give the energy I get” so if you don’t ask how I am, I won’t ask you. And the amount of people I haven’t heard from because I’m not asking is crazy

@Jorgina I’ve considered this before too. I would start out by asking what they’re end goal is when it comes to venting so I know what my role is. It just sucks cuz I’m listening to your issues and whatever you got going on so when it’s the other way around, I would expect it you know?

@Alanna, I hear you. I'm used to people venting to me, so I have gotten used to it. However, I can see how it would get annoying, especially if it's one-sided.

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@Alanna exactly! Then I remember this is an app and some people may not actually know how to be friends or have friends. I think it’s a skill to be a good friend and some folks haven’t learned.

Alanna I felt this !!!! I swear I'm encountering the same , every time !!

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