Ready to be alone

Hi moms, it’s been 3 yrs since I’ve become a mom. I have 3 under 3 and life has been hell. Ofc I have my good moments but I’m so depressed and angry,& so many negative thoughts in my head. I want the best for my kids, I don’t feel like they dad will do that. He claims he loves them and all this and that. He is there everyday, but barely interact w them. 3 boys mind you. I’m just so tired, over worked at my job, over stimulated at home, so much to do and it seems like I’m just failing. I smoke 🍃 but since my car broke down last month I can’t buy it like I want to. It’s the one thing that keeps me calm and focus’s me back to reality. My relationship is a fucking joke atp. He has verbally told me he only w me for the kids& I feel like that’s bs. I don’t want anyone to be around me if they don’t wNna be. I just wanna be alone. I don’t wanna leave my kids, but sometimes I feel like I need a few days away from the whole house. I’m literally fighting for my life atp& I’m not doing okay. I’m hurting, I’m sad, I’m just a mess. I get 4-6 hrs of sleep if even at night I work at 7am& never get to come home to a clean house, food on the stove, trash sitting outside the door from 3 days ago..like & another thing he is always accusing me of shit, like this man has whole access to my phone. And I go to work and come home. But if I get to mad and walk out then I just went and f’d w a man or was at they house, when I’m reality I’m outside talking to myself looking crazy, hair barely be done, but over all I’m just wondering if anyone if y’all have ever just took that vacation away from your babies? I’m not trying to abandon them or stop being a mom, I JUST REALLY NEED A BREk. A real one,please anyone just tell me the real!

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take the break. you don’t need to go far just check into a hotel for a few nights so you can have your space but your not too far in case of an emergency. you need time to yourself. sorry your experiencing this. sending love & well wishes x

Oh I feel this. I’m sorry your SO doesn’t sound very supportive. What I try to do is do one thing (at least) a week that’s just for me. That could be going to a friends house ALONE or getting brunch with my girls. It doesn’t have to be spending money it just has to be outside the house away from the stresses. The better you feel the more attentive you can be for your kids. Therapy is another great tool if your able too. They have option for Telehealth nowadays too.

@Margo I’m looking Into therapy. I literally have no one to talk to. I have no family no friends. It’s just me my S/O and kids. I’m starting to be real anti socials I hate that. I try to go outside by myself but then I get accused, I’m just tired of fighting w him but I also need a break.

@~ Miss Ritaa🦋 thank you, yk that sounds decent I might have to. My mom so tight thoe I just started a job and it only pays 13$ 😭😭

sometimes air bnbs are cheaper than hotels, just search around for good deals, check wowcher & groupon as well

Self care is so important! That’s what my therapist and I have been working on. If you can’t go out, try so do things for you inside the house than. Take a bath, journal, color. Something for you for at least 20 mins. It can be during nap time or after he gets home from work and you’re both there. Say “hey I just need a little me time” and take it. It’s doesn’t have to be every day because god knows that’s not always possible with littles ones, but a few times a week would be ideal. It’s something that you and your SO need to talk about and his insecurities. Maybe figure out where those are coming from because that’s toxic and unhealthy to be around.

@~ Miss Ritaa🦋 thank you sm 💕

@Margo thank you! I have been trying to back into writing. My so plays the game on his free time which is all the time. He lets them ruin the house and it’s so frustrating as soon as I get home I start cleaning and then I gotta cook, then clean again 😭and I’ve been trying to tell him that, it’s not healthy and it’s honestly making me have no good feelings towards him. Thank you. I’m definitely going to try and get my time. Even if I feel bad