Feel like a failure

I have a 2 year old and a nearly 3 week old and I just feel like a failure. I am breastfeeding and loving it but it means I can’t give my daughter my full attention. My partners back at work and I have tried taking them out yesterday to the park and it was a disaster both babies crying 😭 I also feel like we’re not ready for the day until 12/13:00 ish and feel like im just failing does anyone have any advise for me ?xx
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Can you try and practice breastfeeding in a sling? This is my plan!

You sound like a superwoman not a failure!! Have you got anyone you can get to come and help you? This time will be hard but you are definitely not a failure xx

1 - The constant feeding doesn't last forever. While so little newborn will be cluster feeding. Eventually it changes to every few hours. Now we are 13 weeks in we go between 1-3 hours between feeds and feeds tend to only last 30 mins max most are only about 10 mins. Set up little activities for your oldest to do during feeds. This could be colour matching, some sensory play, some letters, books, role play, animals, literally anything to keep them occupied. I found a snack to be the best win. If you can find books about being a big sibling, about how babies grow and feed these can be interesting for little one. You can also get books and games about emotions and behaviour these can be helpful. If you have a baby carrier (I always recommend a sling library) they are so helpful I absolutely could not be without mine, toddler reins are soo handy and I could not survive without a double pram and sometimes I even consider getting a buggy board. Huckleberry is such a helpful all for tracking nappies, potty

2 - feeds, solids, medicines, baths, naps. So handy with multiple. But also I like to think even if we aren't all dressed, even if I'm covered in sick, even if the house is a mess, even if we didn't leave the house for days as long as everyone's fed and breathing what's it matter. If you need more support your health visitor should help you. Don't be afraid to ask your friends or family for support that is what they are there for. You got this. Feel free to message if want a chat

You have a newborn AND a toddler and you got out of the house!!! That’s a major win! Don’t be so hard on yourself. Maybe you could ask your partner to look after the baby when he gets home from work and you have some one on one time with your toddler? Maybe read them a story before bed and it can be your special time together. Remember this is just an adjustment period whilst you get use to having two children and you are doing your best. Xx

You're definitely not a failure, far from it. I have one little boy who is 2 - October 2021 - and I can barely leave the house at the moment. Can't imagine how difficult it must be to try getting out with a toddler and a newborn. Everyone else has given you good advice so I would just say to try being kinder to yourself. I know it's far easier to say than to do but you are in the thick of having everything in your family's world being turned upside down. There can be a lot of pressure to make it out every day/often but right now your babies really only need you and your time. Goals can always be adjusted. Xxx

My two have 15 months between them and the first few months were literally just survival! I breastfed my second and I wasn’t prepared for how much time it would take away from my daughter and how disconnected I’d feel. It really does get easier though. Honestly the fact you got out is amazing and you’ve done it once now and it’ll get easier and easier. Yes, you’ll have rubbish days but you are also about to have some of the best days of your life. Give yourself a break and remember you are a human and it’s okay to be stressed and overwhelmed. Deep breaths. The days will get more organised as baby gets older but just don’t expect too much at this age! Xxx

Hello 👋 your not a failure, lovely. I have a 2 Yr old and a four month old, found adjusting to life with two took a bit of time. It absolutely gets easier. We have good days and bad days. Try not to give yourself to much to do. Could you go to the park with a friend or family member so you have some help. My confidence grew as times gone on. It's totally normal to find it difficult - because it is 😁 Super women, you've got this. Here if you want to talk xx

We've got a 2.5yr old and a 3 month old and it is HARD!! (and this is with my partner working from home so he can chip in when needed during the day) so really well done for doing it solo and getting them out! Thanks for posting, I've had similar thoughts and feelings (feeds seem to clash with meal times / bedtimes and all the other things I used to do with my toddler and I've been feeling so guilty) it's good to know I'm not alone and it sounds like it will get easier x

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