When to buy first house

Does anyone else feel pressured to buy a house when having your first baby? My fiancé and I live in an apartment and we were having fun together/traveling when we found out we were expecting. We both have a career but I’m thinking of becoming a stay at home mom now & working my way to get my masters. My in laws offered for us to move in so we can save for a house & to help support us with the baby. My fiancé is so supportive & says he can afford to take care of us while still saving for a home. Idk how I feel about that though because he would probably have to do a lot of overtime if we buy a house and I’m still a stay at home mom. Does any other mamas get anxious about their future or feel pressured to buy a house?
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My fiancé and I are in a 2-bedroom condo and I think the biggest factor in feeling that pressure is a lack of space. We're not ready to move into a house for another few years still but that comes at the cost of me decluttering like crazy to make room for a baby in order to avoid feeling like our home is constantly a mess. That said, my brother and I grew up in an apartment with my parents and we did just fine! If your fiancé is confident in his ability to provide, maybe sit down together and look at your overall financial situation to see how much you'll really be able to put into savings. Otherwise, how close are you with your in laws? Would moving in be beneficial to your relationship in that you'd get extra help with baby and more family time, or would the environment get tense and put a strain on your relationship if you're there a little too long? How good are they at respecting your boundaries?

Thank you for the advice! His in laws are very sweet and good w/ boundaries. They’re trying to make their home as comfortable as possible for us & also mentioned multiple times about giving us space. The one thing I’m worried about is sharing rhe kitchen. I love to cook & see food as medicine which is what I’ll need post partum. My fiance is taking 3 months off from work so he agreed to cook & his in laws are leaving on vacation for a month the second month we’ll be living with them. His family is very excited and happy we are moving in & I think will be committed to giving us boundaries. I also trust them watching our baby so I think it will be good to save & for the support. Idk though until we actually move in because I can get shy especially being in someone else’s home.

@Bri reply is above

I bought my house when I was single and able to work all the time. It’s only a small house that’s going to need some minor renovations in order to make it work now that I’m pregnant with our second, but I am very thankful to have it and can understand why someone would feel pressured to buy. I have the freedom to make those decisions and have the laundry room and backyard which is amazing. I will point out though that it’s not just saving for a down payment, it’s also saving for an emergency fund for things like a roof needing to be replaced. It may pay off in the long run but that depends on if you’re planning on staying in the same place and can find an affordable home in a safe neighbourhood when you’re ready to buy.

We don’t feel pressure at all. The thing is the market is terrible right now.

Owning a house wasn’t ever really a thing I thought about. But I do own one know. I would talk through all the finances with your fiancé before making a decision. Paying for school, baby stuff, living expenses, etc. is a lot. It’s good to be on the same page and work together to your financial goals.

My partner bought a house as soon as we found we are having a baby. We both wanted to be settled before baby arrives. Every situation is a personal, but if your partner is telling you he can take care of you let him. He obviously has a great sense of responsibility and family values which is amazing ♥️

Ideally my husband and I wanted to buy a house before we gave birth to our first child but since the market in Ontario has been absolute crap...we've been saving at home with my parents (thankfully they have a big house to accommodate us)! But I no longer feel pressured or guilty to be at home...buying a million dollar fixer upper house just doesn't make sense to us at this point!

Thank you everyone for your advice!!

For us we just bought a house right before we had our second. We never really felt pressure to but we wanted to because it would save so much money in the long run because we would own in instead of always having to pay rent. We did live with my in laws for a couple months and that was also great and helped us save a bit. I think you guys should sit down and talk about it. I understand him wanting to provide and take care of yall bur that doesn’t also have to mean he had to do it himself. Yall can be at the in-laws dor a couple of months until you leave again or until baby comes or you don’t at all but I’d sit down and talk about pros and cons

I would love to buy a house for my two boys, just not in the cards. Idk think about what’s going to be less stressful for you since transitioning to kids is a lot of stress.

We live in a little mobile home in a community I bought it before my daughter was born and we been very happy living here especially since I heard the interest rates of buying homes right now is horrible 😬

My husband and I are going through the same thing. The tricky part is we live in California and there’s no way we can afford to live off of one income. I wfh so I fortunately can work for a bit after our baby is born till we could move out of state and afford a home.

We bought a house 6 days before our baby was born (he was born 3 weeks early so we thought we had more time) 😂 We also felt pressure, wanted more space and didn’t want noise complaints in our condo. Our parents did help with the down payment which was extremely nice, we couldn’t have done it without them. I’m glad we moved before he was born but I definitely wish we had more time to settle, it was too much change all at once and I was very overwhelmed in the beginning. And I’ll definitely have to go back to work soon to help with mortgage payments

Oh my God, yes I was putting the pressure on my fiancé. We have a two bedroom apartment and I just wanted my son to have a backyard or front yard to play in and also get him a dog as he grows older. His nursery was my beauty room/office. My fiancé‘s office is half of our living room so the lack of space is definitely there. I threw away half of my stuff partially, because I go through seasons of throwing everything out and starting fresh but also because I needed to make more room for my fiancé’s belongings. I wouldn’t rush into things. Take your time if you’re looking for a house and living with in-laws is totally up to you and what you’re comfortable with. Do not feel pressured. Yes, the extra help would be extremely helpful but make sure this doesn’t cause problems in your relationship because having a baby alone is a big change and I only had my son for four weeks ago… I felt disconnected from my partner for a few weeks.

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I was working part-time job, gave up my career when we decided to start a business and it’s been great because now I could stay home with my son and bills are still taking care of… I haven’t worked a real full-time job in about two years, even before getting pregnant, we were still traveling and enjoying each other‘s company off one income alone. If it’s going to require him to work overtime, just be ready to feel like you’re alone but if you could survive without that extra overtime, then be OK with that and have him be there with you as a family. Sometimes my fiancé works late, but when he comes home, he is hands-on and throughout the night as well. I like having my personal space to myself so if I lived with in-laws or even my parents 24 seven, I think I would freak out a little bit. lol

Lots of really good advice already but my two cents is just that the first 9 months of baby’s life won’t really matter how much space you have. And regarding concerns over sharing a kitchen, I’d look into getting a mini fridge so that all of your postpartum goodies are easily available!

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