How do you self regulate your emotions
Honestly how do you do it? Context I have adhd and autism but wasn’t diagnosed until adulthood and was never taught any techniques to regulate my emotions. I now have two small children 3&5 and I’m trying so hard to be a calm, reasonable parent. I don’t hit or isolate my children but when I am deregulated I shout a lot. It’s horrible and i feel so guilty and my oldest in particular is really struggling with it. I hate myself. I try so hard but I cannot regulate while they are screaming or crying. If I try and leave I explain what I need but they hound me and if I shut the door they literally scream and bang on the door crying and it breaks my heart on top of making me more stressed. I have tried practicing techniques during calm moments but I rarely get any of those and most times I get interrupted by the children anyway!!! Please tell me how to do it. I follow loads of instagram account which have some useful tips but mostly just make me feel
Guilty for how much damage I am doing.
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Thanks, this is good advice. I struggle most in the moment when they are screaming and it’s impossible to walk away or they won’t want tv or anything because they are mid meltdown. I get small amounts of time for myself but that never seems to help me in those moments
Some days we barely make it through the day, I just have a two year old and it’s still tough. If I’m having a bad moment sometimes I’ll turn the tv on or facetime my parents so I can go to the bathroom in peace. If you have a partner have them give you 30 mins a day at the very least for yourself. Maybe find a calming hobby, I enjoy journaling, “burn after writing” was fun to start with personally. Whenever I do yell I apologize immediately after and do my best to explain “I am so sorry for yelling at you that was not okay for me to do I should not have yelled I am sorry” so he doesn’t pick up on my poor habits hopefully. We take A LOT of deep breaths in this house and sometimes for my mental sanity I do walk outside to calm myself so I can come back and help calm him. Parenting is the hardest job EVER but I think if you’re worried your a bad mom you’re probably one of the best