Formula feeding

I’m a FTM soon to be 40. My entire pregnancy I was determined to breastfeed but unfortunately my baby was 3 weeks early had an emergency c section. and my milk or even the colostrum wasn’t in yet when he was born. It took about a week with pumping and him trying to latch. So he’s been formula feeding. Now he’s a month old and I’m still not making any milk he will latch but just use me as a pacifier and when I pump it’s just a drop that comes out. I know fed is best and I’m ok with that but I’m just heart broken that my body has failed me. I’m still pumping and getting him to latch but when do I finally throw the towel and give up. Anyone in the same situation?
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my baby was a nicu baby and i didn’t get to see her until 4 hours after she was born because i hemorrhaged and was unstable so she was bottle fed from the start and it took awhile for my milk to come in too but i just kept pumping multiple times a day while formula feeding and trying to BF a couple times a day and it got easier after a month or two. i know its really rough right now and i was so close to giving up but im beyond happy i didn’t give up because the rest of my BF journey was amazing and so much easier than formula

I am in the same situation. Single mother by choice, FTM, 42 and my bubba arrived at 36 + 3. Formula fed because she was too sleepy/weak to latch, my milk took 5 days to come in. We were both on IV antibiotics because we both had temperatures during and after birth, they think that is why she decided to come early because of infection. She was also tongue tied while I had snipped at day 4. Now my supply is maybe 5-10 mls per boob and she uses them as a comforter. They are basically just ornaments hanging on the Christmas Tree at this stage, decoration only 😒 I stopped pumping this week, it was sucking the life out of me and so disheartening. It wasn’t worth the drain on my mental health. She is happy and healthy and we still have an amazing bond. She will be 6 weeks this Sunday.

I've had similar with both of my boys. With my first my milk didn't come in and I put it down to the problems we had during pregnancy and the birth and beat myself up so much as I felt my body had failed the thing it was made to do. I felt so so guilty. This time we had no issues at all with the pregnancy but my milk still didn't come in this time. I've found it easier to accept this time around to make the decision to just formula feed. There isn't a wrong or right time or decision, it is just whatever you want to do and when you are ready to do so. Try to be kind to yourself whatever option you take and ask for support from midwives as well :)

@Liz sounds like me I was also on antibiotic and prior to birth I had a lot of complications the last month. The ornament part made me laugh out loud. 😂

I've struggled, my little guy is 8 weeks. I had pumped and not gotten very much thr first 6 weeks and finally went and saw a lactation consultant. I let her know I wasn't getting much of a supply and he wasn't latching and we started working together. He got 15ml his first feeding after latching on both sides (which felt like a total triumph). But it has been a struggle none the less. I feel for you mama.

@Susie I’m in a very similar situation. I only had colostrum for 5 days after an emergency c-section and he worked himself so hard trying to clusterfeed that he was dehydrated, had low blood sugar and breastfeeding jaundice. We ended up having to call an ambulance and he was in the NICU for a few days. My milk came in while he was in the NICU but by that time, they were formula feeding him to make sure he got fed. After that, I breastfed him every time and topped up with formula, pumping a couple of times a day and getting absolutely nothing. I met with a lactation consultant and she said my supply is too low and the most she’d be able to do is double it, even with pumping 10-12 times a day. I did triple feeding for a week with no increase in supply so now I’m transitioning to completely formula except for when my boobs leak overnight. I feel so sad and formula is tough and expensive but my mental health is much better when I’m not up every hour feeding him all different ways.

I relate to this as well, the c section and breastfeeding. We care about our babies and if breastfeeding doesn’t work out for us, it’s not because we didn’t try, just because we did our best and it didn’t work out. I think about making the most out of the extra time I get from using formula with baby instead because I can control that

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