Frustrated with .. everything

My step daughter tries to get away with not doing any chores or plays dumb and acts like she doesn’t know how to do anything . Or uses the excuse that she doesn’t live here so she doesn’t have to contribute . From correspondence with her mom that attitude isn’t tolerated either . Is this just her expressing feelings because she has 2 homes ? I’m trying my best to be patient and understanding . I give her reminders and tell her in nice ways to do her chores . Then I think maybe she’s jealous of her little sister but even her little sister has chores and she even offers to help SD with chores . Idk what to do
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Hey I feel your frustration 🫤 may I ask how long has this been going on? I ask because my SD is the same way and it's taken her about 6 months to just start getting used to the routine at our house, she lives with us now and things are completely different in my household vs. Her moms. It might just take some time, I know it's seems like you have to keep repeating the same thing over and over, but kids will be kids. How old is she?

Make a chart and have her check it off, if she enjoys something or in a sport, she can't do it or play until she does her responsibility. Let her know everyone plays a part and has to help out and pull their weight

She’s 12 . It’s just been this way forever , I’ve been in her life since she was 2 . As she’s been getting older it’s become more and more challenging .

Her chores are basically to clean up after herself or take care of herself (brush her teeth , fix her bed, get dressed etc) . In my opinion most of those are things that she should be doing already. The only thing we ask that she helps out with is unloading the dishwasher . That’s it . I feel like at that age , kids are capable of doing or contributing more but she’s just so disconnected with wanting to help with anything . Idk if this is just the preteen phase or what. I keep thinking maybe it’s just because this isn’t her primary home that’s throwing off her routine but basic hygiene should be done regardless of where she’s at .

You're absolutely right. Personal hygiene is a must. It could be a preteen phase, but still no excuse. Kids seen to thrive off a routine so I'd try having her do the same thing around the same time every day until she gets into the habit of it. My SD is 14 and it's still a battle everyday so I completely understand. If you ever need to chat or vent just message me, because I'm still trying to figure this whole step parent thing out myself, it is not easy 😅

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