Bio Mom is Manipulating Step Children.

Me and Bio mom have always had a really rocky relationship. It started out bad her first words to me were extremely hateful. Over the last 3+ years we have been to court for her filing an PO against my husband for protecting me from her trying to attack me while I was pregnant. Through the entirety of these 3+ years this woman has called me every name in the book and belittled me. Other than one very long deserving message after all the shit I had taken from her I never called her a name or speak down to her or speak down of her to the kids.. Our oldest Daughter (SD) is becoming a pre teen, and is becoming more like her mother in how she acts and talks… her mother is very ghetto I’ll fight anyone attitude, has no respect for authority and is diagnosed with Bipolar disorder as well. Before this past year we have had a great relationship with the kids when they are with us. But these last few months have been a consistent theme that everytime they go home to their mother they are saying they hate it here and they don’t want to be forced to come here. Bio Mother has made the children believe that dad is not allowed to discipline them, if he feels that the crop top his child is wearing is not appropriate and addresses that she needs to change cause it’s not appropriate for a child she tells mom that he’s making her insecure and makes her feel bad , instead of being a parent and saying . “Your dad is being a dad the same way I’m being a parent when I make you change because I feel it’s not appropriate” she coddles her and says that’s not right your dad shouldn’t make u feel this way. Anytime my husband tries to be a father she tells the kids that it’s basically not his place.. More recently she felt it was appropriate to take my husbands words out of context in a moment of frustration. And told the children that there dad wants to give up his rights and custody. Which is absolutely the last thing my husband wants to do. But she felt it was appropriate to tell the kids that and now his daughter thinks it’s okay to yell at him and call him bro and say he should just sign over his rights already.. I’m just at loss on how to handle this evil , bio mom is truly a cold hateful person.. and has no problem mentally abusing her children by manipulating them into thinking their dad is a terrible father. And as someone who is married and has a child with him I can promise you he’s not.
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I sympathize with you there is no winning in this matter that i can tell you. You can pour your heart out , give more than both parents combined but at the end of the day still you are the step mom. Make every move knowing that for your sanity.

I definitely understand! This essentially happened for us too and his daughter left after she turned 18 and we’ve not heard from her since and our littles are suffering because of it. Our 4 year old can’t sleep through the night and will just cry and tells me she’s so sad and will cry for at least an hour before she’s so exhausted and falls back asleep. She still tells me randomly she misses her sister. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on circumstances, mothers have a very strong hold on children. And some terrible mothers will manipulate their children and don’t care about the impact that it has and will have on those children. I can honestly say that I have no idea what we’ve done wrong. My husband loves and lives for his children. We have been told by all therapists that as soon as his kids turn 18 we would never hear from them again. And he has a son who is almost 20 years old and he still visits weekly. So long winded way of saying just love them and hope for the best.

Oh my god girl…same. So I have two step kids (girl, 11 and boy, 6). I’ve had to deal with the bio mom for almost 6 years now. This woman weaponizes her kids against their dad, has verbally wished my death, gaslights and plays victim…and now the kids are starting to act like her. Enjoying playing mind games, treating people like garbage…and she literally said “I have no idea what they learn this stuff” like excuse me??? Also she put down my SS dog, and said it was his fault, slut shames SD by saying she looks like a whore or slut if she wears shorts…golden child complex for SS, ignores SD, tells my husband (their dad obvi) that I’m toxic because I refuse to go to her house and act friendly, tries to get a rise out of me for no good reason, acts innocent and cries to my husband saying I’m making coparenting hard but also says I have no business coparenting also and treats me like I’m not there…there’s so much more. I could write a book…

Oh and also she’s bipolar too! But refuses meds saying she “just needs positive environment” And sounds a lot like your situation 🙃

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