18m & 3m gonna have mental breakdown

I'm so stressed out having an 18m old and a 3m old. I feel so bad for my 3m old bc he's constantly getting woke up by his sister, she's constantly touching him, he doesn't get all my love like she did. I feel like I'm failing him. Today, I needed a moment after both them screaming all day so I went into the bedroom for a few mins. I heard my baby crying but I figured he could cry it out for once.... come to find out he doesn't cry it out, he doesn't stop crying. I came out of the bedroom and he was so red from crying, he couldn't even catch his breath, and it took him like 10 mins of me talking/rocking him for him to finally be semi-ok. First of all, is that normal? Nothing was wrong with him. His diaper was just changed he was just burped & fed, he wasn't to hot or too cold, there was no reason for him to be crying like that. It made me feel really guilty and it's still weighing on me.
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I am headed to two under two in July so I can’t help with that but I will say I struggled as a “solo” parent without much assistance and have my own mental health and had to talk to the pediatrician (we have a good relationship and she’s great) and she said as long as baby is crying then baby is good. It breaks your heart but your babies need mama to feel alright too

My kids are the same age range. I’m wondering if it’s colic symptoms that’s making him cry. My toddler was like that when he was a baby and I couldn’t figure out why he was crying and the only thing that would calm him is vacuum sounds. He could also be overstimulated. I have many days I feel overwhelmed. My baby hasn’t been getting enough tummy time because I’m afraid my toddler will topple over her. It’s been a mess but I try my best. You did the right thing by stepping away. As long as they both are in a safe space do that as much as you need.

Thank you so much that did help me put things into perspective

@Jem yes I'm wondering too if he is colic, over the past week it's been hell with him. My daughter wasn't colic when she was a baby though. Not sure if that matters. My baby doesn't get enough tummy time either bc as soon as I put him on the floor she is right there next to him or sitting on him or trying to throw toys at him. Thank you , I really needed to hear that I did the right thing.

I literally have an 18m and a 3m old. I completely understand. Theres days that are harder than others. My 3m old always cries like that but what calms her down is white noise and colic drops. Search “white noise for colicky baby” on youtube. I use the video where it has the picture of a baby on a moon. Those things calm her down. I try to spend time w my toddler when my baby is sleeping or when dad gets home. Dad takes baby and I use the rest of the night to spend time with my toddler. I been there where I had to just step away so I completely understand but it won’t always be like this.

I have a 17 month old and a 3 month old. My 3 month old hates being put down and there have been times where my toddler lies on the floor being ignored and times where he lies on the floor being ignored. I never feel I’m doing a good job xx

I made sure to get on the pill and implant in so both would protect me from pregnancy until I was ready again..I'm sorry but I don't know why this is so hard for soo many women new and not new mums.its a no brainer really

@Naomi what a gross unhelpful comment… I don’t see the point? What were you trying to achieve? Are you suggesting we all go back in time and go on birth control? And a bit rude - we might have planned it to avoid having to go through losing our lives and figures AGAIN five years later like you.

some people are just misinformed or don’t get on birth-control for religious purposes. It’s so easy to judge others when you’ve never been in someones place. But go off i guess. @Naomi

@Holly I usually have this phrase reserved for my husband but - “If you’re not going to be actually helpful or nice then please just stop trying to help” you know like when we were kids and they said don’t say anything if you can’t be nice? And not to mention - since you want to be ugly - that taking two forms of contraception is not extra helpful and doesn’t do much in terms of “making sure I was protected bc I wasn’t ready” but go off girl 🫶🏼😂☠️

@Naomi lol was that comment necessary ? I asked for advice. What would you like me to do invent a damn Time Machine? If I could, I wouldn't. My babies are my world. Why are you even in this group?

@Jenny I am going to try that on YouTube and which colic drops do you recommend? Thank you!!! 💗

Mine are the same age and my youngest is the same that she would cry and cry if I let her. Things I find helpful are gated areas to give the baby space where my little boy can’t reach her when I’m not directly supervising and baby wearing. I do virtually everything with my baby strapped to me, physically hard but it takes away all my guilt as I’m meeting my baby’s desire to be held and she sleeps longer that way so is more content when she wakes up. Also then I have my hands free to play with my toddler so I don’t feel bad about him getting enough attention. @Naomi that’s a strange comment to be posting in a 2 under 2 group 🙃 I planned this age gap and I love it but it doesn’t mean it’s not hard too

@Caitlan that's a great idea I love the gated idea and the baby wearing I'm going to try it! Thank you 💗

I have a 22m and 9m old (13 month age gap) I have days like that too. I found my baby was very clingy and just never likes being alone or put down from me for more than a minute. You're doing a great job going from one to two kids is hard work but it gets easier and will be worth it when he's a little older.

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