Pros and cons?
Hello! I’m just trying to do more research into adoption and fostering to see if this is a path my husband and I wanna go down in the future. We have two biological children but we want a large family and my body won’t be able to handle very many more pregnancies so we knew adoption would be an option down the line for us to complete our family. Doing research, I found that fostering to adopting is the cheapest way to go and I don’t think I’ll want to adopt infants knowing that the babies get adopted out rather quickly. Could I get some pros and cons about fostering and adopting especially when introducing the children into your family unit? I would love to hear some personal stories so I can get a realistic idea of what we’d be looking at, and working towards since we’re not in the right place to foster or adopt just yet.
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I used to be a foster care social worker for CPS. Fostering is extremely hard and you have to be prepared to know reunification is always the ultimate goal and prepared to say goodbye. I had several foster parents who went in with the goal of adopting only to be heartbroken when the infants were reunified with relatives that were located later on. I would suggest seeking counseling as a family prior to fostering and having conversations with your children to prepare them for the process. Happy to answer questions if you have any.
My only advice or biggest advice I have is go to the classes every class you can find and sign up for.
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Fostering is the hardest, but most rewarding thing I've ever done. Cons? - more messes, and diaper changes - The goodbyes. I highly recommend you and your husband seek out therapy before doing it. Maybe even get your kids in therapy. - you have to record everything, meds, scratches illness, clothing. - some social workers treat you like a babysitter, which basically you are. You have to get permission for just a out anything. - the trauma, even an infant, can take many years to show. 6 years later my now adopted son is diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, Anxiety, and ADHD. Pros? - more kisses and snuggles! - You can be picky on what you will accept. Age, sex, religion, race, siblings, disabilities... - it can educate you on other cultures, if you have a placement of difference than yours. - you meet new people that you wouldn't normally associate with. If you'd like to discuss it more, I'd be happy to chat!