Your Mother at your Birth?

I will be having my mom at my birth but it sounds like we have a different relationship than you have with your mom. If you feel like she is going to over power and overwhelm you then maybe she shouldn’t be there. It’s your experience and you shouldn’t have her there just because she wants to be there, if it will make an already very difficult experience more difficult than maybe have her sit it out. Birth is a beautiful experience but isn’t easy by any means and you should avoid having anyone there who will make it more stressful.

I had my mother at mine it was a positive experience. She was supportive and helpful with getting me stuff and making sure I was good.

Girl trust your gut! I love my mom but out of everyone in the room (doctors, nurses, my child’s father and her) she pissed me off the most. That being said she’s also the only one that helped me stick to my birth plan which i was mad about in the moment but grateful for afterwards. Maybe have a conversation with your husband and make like a “safe word” so that if she overwhelms you then she will be asked to leave graciously until the baby has arrived

I can not imagine having my mom there when I gave birth. We have a pretty good relationship, but we have a very similar personality that makes us clash over the most stupidest things. I think it’s be mean to her without intention if she was trying to help.

I am doing a home birth at home with myself, my hunny and midwife plus her assistant. I need the most peaceful experience as possible. My mom will not be there.

I had my mom with me the first time. I was very on the fence and I told her if she wants to be there she had to read my hypnobirthing book and she did lol she is a big energy I’m a big energy and I really wanted a relaxing experience. When it came time to push the nurses tried to tell me I couldn’t push in a certain position and my mom put her foot down saying it was approved in my birth plan so I was going to do what I wanted. It was definitely great having her there because my husband is more soft spoken. I’m slightly worried about her not being there this time (she’s keeping our daughter while I’m in the hospital)

My mom was at all three and when they didn’t something she didn’t agree with the said something and with my second it’s saved my life

I would say do whatever makes you feel comfortable.People may feel a certain way about your preference , especially moms but what you want is all that matters. It’s your experience! I had my baby at the birthing center Also. my doula and partner were present. Sometimes it’s can be overwhelming to have too many people in the room . The midwife said the same thing to me , about not having too many people . And she was right . My mom and others were in the waiting and it was still overwhelming to have them come in right after the birth . I wanted to just spend time with my baby and partner alone. The recovery time at the birthing center is very short, I felt like I didn’t need so many people present . Next time I will be telling everyone to wait at home.

I think it just all depends on the dynamics. Also having a baby in the birth center my mom insists on being around. I agreed to having her wait in the family room until I’m ready and settled. We both agreed i don’t need anyone extra to watch me push my baby out. But she will be around if needed

I had my baby at home with midwife and doula naturally and without medication. I love my mom we have a good relationship but I preferred that she wasn't there, I didn't want to see her worried or stressed, I didn't want anything that would disturb my process. Thankfully she understood and respected. As soon as my baby was born, they called her and she arrived. Trust your intuition.

I love my mum but I did not have her at my birth. I wanted a very calm birth experience and my mum is very loud and excitable 😂 it was just my partner and I and I don't regret it xx

I did the same a water birth at a birthing center and at the time my mother and mother in law were causing me stress so the midwives told me that if the notice of was on the verge of a panic attack during the laboring/birth because of them that they would not hesitate to kick them out for me. I made sure they were both aware of that and since my daughter was the first grandchild for both families they were seen but not heard during the entire time

I had my mom there and oh man loved that she was there along with my husband! I recommend it 🥲💕

Talk to her about how you feel! Show her a support person role video and see how she responds! I was nervous at first to. I literally told her I just wanted it to be me and my man but then I decided I want her to be there💗 and I showed her a video of a support partners role and she said she wasn’t even thinking about any of that and she’s glad I sent it! I’ll send you the video it’s not a mom support person but everyone is generally the same💞

https://youtu.be/wc1x6GdJ0Bk?si=Xx1fr6yjnEczjqwJ

My doula told me to send this to her 💘 you should send it to your mom

💔I can’t have my mum at my birth. I’m only allowed 1 person in theatre and that’ll be BD. My mum is my EVERY THING & I couldn’t have gone through pregnancy without her. My own view obviously.

If you don't feel comfortable then don't take your mother in, labour is soo stressful and you need someone you trust completely and is onboard with your choices so the can abdicate for you if needed. Having someone with you who you are not comfortable with and may make decisions you don't want could ruin your relationship with them. If she's being pushy about it closer to the time just say there's been a recent increase in the number of covid cases in the area so the birth centre have restricted it too just 1 birthing partner. So unfortunately you can only take your husband which your gutted about but you can't do anything about it. This is what me and my husband told people to stop them just turning up at hospital to visit. No one questioned it just said oh man that sucks.

I will not be having my mother there or my MIL. My husband will be the only person there. Do whatever makes you comfortable. If you don't want her there don't have her there

I will be having my mother at my birth because she's good at keeping me calm in scary situations. She also knows what I want and don't want. We clash but she respects that I'm my daughter's mother and this is my choice.

I had my mom at my birth. We had some hard times during my pregnancy between my bf I and my family but made up around midway through. It was touch and go for a while but eventually I did invite my mom to come to my birth. I'm so glad I did. She was very supportive and very much there for me and whatever I needed. My BF didn't really know how to help me so it was nice to have her there. If I'd had a doula it mightve been different as far as him knowing how to support but my mom would 100% not be overstepping me and what I want. I'm having a birth center birth this November and I'm going to get a doula this time but I think I will still invite my mom to come

If your mother overwhelms and overpowers, do you think she will overstep and undermine your doula (being a doula herself)?

I had my partners mum with me as well as my partner, she was truly amazing, I had an incredibly quick labour and birth and she captured every moment of it and can't thank her enough for it. I also had to have stitches and that took 40 minute so she stood by myside and supported me through that while my partner had skin on skin

I couldn’t imagine not having my mum there whenever I’m scared or in pain I always want my mum ofc my boyfriend is going to be there but my mum will be at the hospital on standby just incase I’m like I want my mum

I was never going to have my mother with me though I wanted to. Turns out she’s squeamish 😂 My husband wanted his mother to be there though. That would’ve caused issues. But luckily (just for that situation) my husband and I both had Covid and it had to be just us. It truly was special just to have us.

I had my mum & partner at the time there with me, and my mum was more supportive and helpful than my partner 🥰

my mum keeps asking to be at mine and i don't want her there (in the nicest way possible) i just know she'll stress me out so i'm not even telling her when i go into labour and i'm hoping she'll understand but i know it'll cause arguments, im just having my boyfriend and i've told him if i ask for someone else to be there then i either want him to call my oldest sister or his mum

I wish I didn’t have my mom at mine. My mom has been to many births of people in my family but somehow she couldn’t handle being at mine. I had my second baby and didn’t invite her and my birthing experience felt better.

I had my mum at my birth with my partner I personally wouldn’t have my mum again if I ever gave birth fair play to the woman she did try to capture moment when baby was born but she was also FaceTiming family member ie-sisters nephews she even showed my sister my bits when I was being stitched up which I wasn’t happy about she was on her phone the whole time and I could hear her talking to everyone instead of focusing on me 🫠 all in all 3-10 from me😂

Have not given birth yet, but I don't have the best relationship with my mom, so she's not going to be there until well after the birth

If someone is stressing you out by just THINKING about having them there. Then DONT do it.

It was just me, my husband and my doula. Wouldn’t have had it any other way, and I’m close with my mom

Since i had a c section for my breech baby my mom wasn’t allowed in the operating room. I asked and i wanted her there but couldn’t. She was in the waiting room and had drove with us to the hospital though so after my husband she was the first person to meet our baby.

I think if you’re not sure you want your mum there and the midwife is hesitant too, then you have your answer. X

I had my mom there and birth my husband and I were super thankful she was there. She was helpful and not overbearing at all

I let my mom in while I was in labor but she left before I progressed too far. Only my husband was with my during delivery. Honestly that was perfect I didn’t feel like I needed anyone else. Apparently I did ask for my mom as soon as I woke up from my c-section (they put me to sleep 😞). I don’t remember that.

I had my mom and mother in law as well as my sister and husband there. I should have just set up some bleachers😂🤦🏼‍♀️. I absolutely loved it because my husband got support as well! I don’t regret it one bit, it made it fun but everyone has a different dynamic with family! Do what feels best for you!

I intentionally did not tell my mom I was in labor until after the baby arrived because I knew I did not want her there. Quite simple because she doesn't know how to take no for an answer.

For me I was so glad my mum and partner was there ,and she knew if anything was to happen my partner would go around with me and she would wait in a certain area or they would switch , because of sleep and because of COVID I could only have one person (had an emergency c section) but during and before the c section my mum was amazing I was in alot of pain when I first come in ,if YOU don't feel comfortable then that's up to you but some do just really need our mum's there too ...me and my mum have a close relationship and I knew it was hard for her to been seen me wheeled off to theatre to have surgery even my partner was asked to leave the room because of general anesthesic so I couldn't have anyone around me until afterwards, I feel like everything is more calmer when you have the people there that YOU need after all any sense of uneasyness can make you panic in labour and it's not a great feeling ♥️

My mum was super helpful and I'm really grateful that she was there ,Im greatful my partner was there too but really i found it hard the first week and my mum helped me alot i didnt really have a good start because of they way the birth went I was starting to get depressed ,my partner and I was kindia struggling...my mum was a godsend ♥️

I had my mother a my birth but was very clear with her she was there for support only I can stand up fir myself and knew how I wantedmy birth to go. My husband and his mom were there too and it was over not to bad of an experience. Those if you think you mother with stress you out and all or deny your wishes for just your support than I go with your intuition and do your first as just you and your husband

I didn't have my mom there, I felt that it was more an experience for me and my husband to share, and I think I would have felt a bit awkward about it lol.

It was just me and my husband and midwife at our daughters birth. No way in hell did I want my mother in the room. Don't get me wrong, I love my Mum but the only person who I wanted to see me push this kid out is the person that put it in there.