My partner doesn't understand the basics and is leaving everything to me...

The best advice I heard is let the dad struggle. I know it’s hard when they are trying to give the baby back to you or you can hear the baby crying/fussing from the other room but dads need to learn and understand their children too. I had to explain this to my husband that he needs to get to know our daughter as I want them to have the relationship I never had with my dad and if he wants that too he needs to be more involved. Also I want to be able to leave the house again without her. Us mums were never given a manual when we gave birth and just had to get on with it and automatically be the default parent so dads need to just get on with it as well. What’s helped me is I literally just dumping her on him (in a nice way ovbs lol) and saying ‘here burp her while I do the washing up/shower/go to the toilet’ but taking my time or once I finished my initial job do another one. Also a serious adult conversation about it all has saved us from arguing or divorcing 😂

Have tried handing baby to him he just passes him back or calls me to take him back, if I'm busy he asks our daughter to hold him till I'm ready 😪

Can you go out for an afternoon?

Yep I kinda threw my husband in the deep end and went out and got my hair done. I was nervous, but in the back of my mind, I know he is capable and kind and knows what to do.

If he’s really nervous have one of your dads or uncles (someone who won’t accept squeamishness) do some man mentoring on Baby 101. Or set him up with some books or YouTube videos that do basics. If he says no to that, well, that’s a bigger issue.

I didn't realize but I was correcting my husband every time he interacted with my son. Id be like oh he likes being held this way or burp him like this...etc. I realized I had to let him learn his own way of soothing the baby. I'd take you and your daughter out to even the store or to get icecream and leave him with a pumped bottle of milk (thats if you've given her bottles?). He will figure out how to soothe her on his own:)

Maybe he can take a parenting class. Or you leave the house for a few hours and have him figure it out on his own. He probably just lacks confidence. Does he have a male friend or family member that is a very involved dad? Can they spend time together so he can see a real life example, ask questions, etc.?

Thanks 😊 I'm breast feeding which means I can't leave the house without baby, I leave him to it when he has baby but he doesn't even try I feel like he leaves it to me because I've worked in nursery for 10 years with under 5's and he uses that as an excuse to leave it to me

At the end of the day there is absolutely no excuse to be a parent and actually do your share of regardless anyone’s job. You both made the decision to bring this baby into the world therefore you both have the same responsibility

Do we have same partner?

Shirley are you in the same boat?

Make him be a dad.

@leonie exactly same

Its so hard Shirley I've tried so many times but with the same results.... brought baby books before little one was born which he hasn't bothered to read 😮‍💨 pretends to be asleep so doesn't have to help during the night

I know, thats why I feel we are roomates for now, maybe in the future when my baby go school I can work and move out, i learned from this experience I would be happier as a single mom.