Having a hard time with my husband..
He is in a bad mood a lot of the time and is just not very nice sometimes and it drives me crazy to hear him speak to our kid the way he does sometimes. For example if he is hitting our puppy, he would say discipline in a negative way and i have tried many times to ask him to be more positive, or to watch a video to improve, but he insists on raising our son the same way he was raised. His dad use to beat the crap out of him, and i really want to break the pattern. I dont believe he will put hands on my son, but Do i just let him be a dad? Or stick up for my son like i want to.
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No, if he thinks beating is a way of discipline, that is wrong and is also a sign of abuse. Stick up for your son, for all we know... that's probably all he needs right now. To feel safe & protected, to know his mother can actually see if he's hurt & what he is feeling. Ask your son how he is from time to time, he may lie or tell the truth but at least he knows you are there and you are listening-
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My man has a time-out trailer that I send him, or he sends himself to when he is in a mood, but you kinda need to get him to agree that it's the best option I go on runs when I feel like yelling but we also both agreed that we want a calm environment for are daughter unlike how we grew up. Maybe bring up the behavior you don't like and try and figure out solutions like if he feels like yelling or spanking him he can go for a walk or drive or just go take a breath outside or away from the situation that makes him want to react like that