Obsessive mother-in-law

My boyfriends “mother” (his step dads girlfriend and we aren’t engaged or anything just have a baby together, but I call her my mother in law) is persistent about showing my daughter to the family. Minded she’s only a month old now and she’s been here and there throughout that month because of this woman. I’ve tried before to tell her “If Charlotte is sleeping, let her sleep” but for some reason it’s hard to get through her head. I’m getting to the point that my postpartum depression is making it hard for me to even take care of myself half the time and whenever my little girl gets woken up, it aggravates me (it’s hard enough to get her to sleep most days). What also doesn’t help is that she smokes in the house (in a separate room than baby girl) and she’ll smoke in the car (with the window opened of course). I get that she might’ve messed up with her youngest and done something right with her oldest and can’t have little ones anymore, but that doesn’t mean she gets to parent her granddaughter who isn’t even blood related to her. I appreciate everything she’s provided for my bf and I since neither of us have a job, but I don’t know how to tell her that I’m getting tired of her acting like my daughter is her own and trying to control everyone’s lives. My daughter currently has baby acne and is constipated (which idk how to fix that, tried changing the formula since i cant pump) but yeah… I just don’t know how to approach this issue without sounding like a complete bitch and getting possibly kicked out for speaking my feelings and truth about something.
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Best advice to say how you feel, if she can't accept it she doesn't care for her granddaughter. Think about your daughter not her feelings.

@Marisa I’m trying but every time I do, I get made out like the bad guy and I’m tired of it. I was made out to be the villain by so many people for so many years. With the amount of trauma I have with yelling…

I would say talk to your bf and tell him how your feeling and you need him to help you talk to her bc I had to do the same with my bfs mom I’m only 18 and my baby boy is only a month old she isn’t trying to parent my baby but when ever me and her son get in a fight she butts in and acts like I do nothing and I shouldn’t ask my bf for help when I need it bc he’s in college and works but I get 2 hours of sleep every night and then I’m up all day doing his laundry his the dishes and everything else for him along with the baby so sometimes I just need help so when she tried turning me into the bad guy I talked to my bf and he made her stop (we also live with his parents I was kicked out of my house at 16)

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