in Mom's going through divorce/separation/ breakups

Please help 😞

I'm faced with the toughest decisions I've ever made in my life. I am divorced with 2 kids. My ex and I get along very well. We have worked hard to be good co parents. I live in a very small town with minimal and expensive housing and poor employment which has led me to having to drive 3 hours a day to work in another county. The road get horrible in the winter time and often closes. I met the most amazing man who has done so much for me mentally, emotionally and financially by helping me learn how to manage and he got me out of a terrible job and helped me find a better one. Because of personal family reasons he had to move back in with his parents in another state. We are still together but long distance sucks. And it seems like I can't win. I finally found the perfect person and life takes a shit on me. I am now living with my insane narcissistic mother who is the master of "guilt, fear, and shame" because I can not afford a 250,000 $ house on my own. Housing here is horrible and there are no rentals in this small town. My state is very expensive to live in. I want to move to where my boyfriend is but my ex wants the kids to stay here for the school year. I won't get to take my babies with me full time and I won't see them as much as I do now but I am out of options here. What do I do?

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No one can really tell you what to do, you have to decide what is best for you and your children. It’s a really tough place to be in.

I would continue doing long distance until the kids are done the school year and then move. I don’t know when that is for yours but at least you’re respecting your ex enough to finish the year as he wants, its only a couple more months and then you can switch schools etc for the next year, move and have the kids full time and work out your ex having them on weekends/holidays. Kids come first in my opinion and if he is the perfect one for you then there is no way that he won’t understand that.

"I finally found the perfect person and life takes a shit on me". Ahem, ma'am, let's be fr. You're their parent and you have certain obligations to be present with them. It isn't their fault that you're divorced. Also, let's be honest here. No one is perfect, not even the prince charming you think this man is. How many of these guys lovebomb and become abusive with this same old story? You're idealizing a fairytale in an attempt to rationalize living apart from your children. I'm not saying he isn't a great guy, but no one is worth leaving your children for. I also wouldn't be quick to move my children in with some man. There is no choice between the guy and your kids. It's just not in any way negotiable. You're going to have to be more precise in what your true intentions are. You want to keep the man at all costs, bc the long-distance thing isn't working, but those kids deserve to have both of their parents. You need to have more order in your decision making. Don't treat them like your mom treats you.

Im the daughter of a woman with narcissistic personality disorder. Just for that alone I’d say get out. That does long lasting damage that reaches further than most can imagine. I do believe you can figure out the rest and it’s all changeable and not permanent, not like the mental conditions you may stand to gain living with a narcissist. I have so many issues and am so effed up cause of mine.

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