I would continue doing long distance until the kids are done the school year and then move. I don’t know when that is for yours but at least you’re respecting your ex enough to finish the year as he wants, its only a couple more months and then you can switch schools etc for the next year, move and have the kids full time and work out your ex having them on weekends/holidays. Kids come first in my opinion and if he is the perfect one for you then there is no way that he won’t understand that.
"I finally found the perfect person and life takes a shit on me". Ahem, ma'am, let's be fr. You're their parent and you have certain obligations to be present with them. It isn't their fault that you're divorced. Also, let's be honest here. No one is perfect, not even the prince charming you think this man is. How many of these guys lovebomb and become abusive with this same old story? You're idealizing a fairytale in an attempt to rationalize living apart from your children. I'm not saying he isn't a great guy, but no one is worth leaving your children for. I also wouldn't be quick to move my children in with some man. There is no choice between the guy and your kids. It's just not in any way negotiable. You're going to have to be more precise in what your true intentions are. You want to keep the man at all costs, bc the long-distance thing isn't working, but those kids deserve to have both of their parents. You need to have more order in your decision making. Don't treat them like your mom treats you.
Im the daughter of a woman with narcissistic personality disorder. Just for that alone I’d say get out. That does long lasting damage that reaches further than most can imagine. I do believe you can figure out the rest and it’s all changeable and not permanent, not like the mental conditions you may stand to gain living with a narcissist. I have so many issues and am so effed up cause of mine.
No one can really tell you what to do, you have to decide what is best for you and your children. It’s a really tough place to be in.