Rant… I’m so done.

Please excuse my rant but I’m so fucking tired and done and I just need a place where I can get this shit of my chest. Today I had a hard as day I’m a sahm to two under two and I love them to death but some days are just hard and I know the roots of it all is that I get no fucking help from my partner. When I had my 1st two years ago we BOTH agreed I would stay home and take care of her. Now that my second was born with health issues and I feel it’s even more important for me to be home and take care of him. My partner only works part time and very few hours when he’s home all he fucking does is lay on the couch on his phone he doesn’t interact with me or the kids. Since they’ve been born he hasn’t changed one fucking diaper. He’s only bathed my daughter twice when both times I was on the hospital with our second and he bitched about it too. I know deep down he feels like I can’t complain cause he pays the bills but he only works part time he pays the big bills but I am in debt paying for the babies extras like presents and clothing. He takes it upon himself to financially help his boundary stepping mother. Has also cheated on me every time after I have had his babies. Yesterday I had a tough day and I had the babies stay later than usual bc his mother stopped by before dinner to see them without announcing. My second didn’t want to sleep when I put him down for the night and kept biting my breasts and crying and all my partner did was shower and lay down. I know it sounds disgusting but I haven’t had the chance to shower in 2 days. I started feeling horrible cramps too and I voiced it he didn’t care. I went up with my second in my arms to eat dinner using one hand and my first came after me. She saw me having some juice and kept insisting I give her I was holding my baby in my arm and quickly grabbed a cup to give my daughter some juice I didn’t want to hear her complain and she ended up spilling all the juice on her and the floor. That about did it for me and I yelled at her extremely loud. He came in telling me not to yell at her and screaming at me. Like he wasn’t just laying in bed not fucking helping. We got in a huge argument in front of the babies which I hate. I feel like instead of acknowledging that I’m frustrated and de-escalating the situation he just makes me feel worse and starts a fucking fight in front of the babies. Now I feel like complete shit because I yelled at my poor baby too. I’m so done with him I feel nothing inside but I feel like my babies are still so little for us to separate. I want to finish school and I also feel like I do have the load off the big bills and I have a roof over our heads. I was SA by my stepfather when I was a child I am mortified to find someone and they harm my children I would feel better if I could talk to them at an age they understand right from wrong and that I would kill anyone who lays a finger on them. Am I wrong for staying? Am I actually wrong in all of this?
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Your not wrong you should talk to him about it and if he doesn’t listen then you should do what’s best for you if you ain’t happy in the relationship It’s two to make a baby he should start helping around if you want someone to rant to just message me x

You're not wrong in feeling this way. It sounds like he has no respect or appreciation for you. You should have a talk with him and be very blunt and straightforward. No apologizing. He helped you make them so he needs to step up and be a father. Tell him exactly what you want him to do and help with and if he can't then tell him there is no point staying together. If he only wants to be financial support for his kids then there really is no point in staying. If you need to bide some time so you can finish school to be better off then by all means do so. You're basically a single parent now and it's not going to be any different if you leave...other than you might need to work. You need to do what you can to be happy. You and your children deserve to be in a peaceful and happy environment. I'm very sorry to hear that you were SA when little. I have also been there and I also worry about the same thing with my LO. We protect our LO the best we can. Your a great Mom 🩷

I just wanted to say.. do not feel bad for yelling at your daughter. You did it out of frustration and exhaustion - and not as a mother who who just yells at their child all the time. Don't feel bad... most of us have been there. What you can do... find some side hustles that you can do from home. My husband makes great money, and I'm a sahm, but i pay for most of the toys, clothing, and other little things myself (by choice). I just do side hustles from home, and i have my own money from it. It's hard to leave with zero money... but use this as a motivation to save up some money, or go back to school.

You’re burnt out ! Being a sahm is a full time mental job . You need to keep calm . Theirs mom guilt if you raise your voice .. etc I understand bc I’m a sahm to and sometimes my husband doesn’t help me I have a 5 and 3 yr old and I’m currently pregnant. My husband showers and then goes to bed or he’s on his damn phone ! Sometimes I feel like I have load . It’s too much for me . We sahm need help and alone time to readjust.

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