How did you cope with leaving your baby for the first time?

I have to go somewhere tomorrow for a little less than 4 hours total and me and my partner have decided to leave our 3 month old baby at home with him so that they can have their own little bonding time and so I can basically throw him in the deep end of looking after her. My baby's also very on and off with bottles so I'm quite worried she won't eat the whole time I'm gone, but it's also part of the reason why she's staying at home, so bottles is her only option and I'm not there to cave in. She won't starve in the 4 hours but she's only ever gone 2 and a half hours without eating so I'm just horrified at how upset she will get if she decides to not take the bottles. My partner generally knows what to do and I've given him a piece of paper with the important details about warming the milk, how often she sleeps and eats and things, but I'm still so so anxious and worried... and he's just super excited 😭😭 Someone help calm me down, even him saying it will all be okay isn't enough 😭
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lol he is a father not a babysitter you don’t have to leave instructions but I completely understand what I do is feed my son before I leave and put him to sleep he sleep typically 3-4 hours and he is 5 months now so I know if I’m gone for 4 hours he might wake up for a bottle or if you know how long your baby sleeps before your baby wakes up your partner can give the baby a dream feed aka feed in sleep

i barely cope going to work and my daughter is 20mths now. ask partner to send you a fun pic here or there playing with baby & think of the positives in the long run. you got this mama! grab a coffee(or hot choc) and a book or take a walk and just have breathing time to relax x

I mean tbh I think it’s ridiculous you need to leave instructions for him… he should know exactly what to do with his baby. He’s a dad not a babysitter. My baby is 11 weeks old and I’m going somewhere overnight without him and he’s staying with my partner and I’m not worried in the slightest because my partner is very hands on and does just as much as me so I don’t need to worry. The fact you’re “throwing him in the deep end” of looking after her is just ridiculous to me, he’s her dad why wouldn’t he already know exactly what to do and how to look after her 🥴 Mine works 40 hours a week and I swear sometimes I knows even more than me lol. How on earth does he not know how often his baby sleeps!?

I love that he’s excited!! Had this with my LO but I got tonsillitis a few weeks ago and just couldn’t stay awake, so he had her all afternoon three days in a row on his own. We express milk and have just been so lucky that she likes the tommee tippee bottles. I’ve been so scared to leave him alone with her because he didn’t seem to react as quickly as me, but he was literally perfect and she wasn’t bothered at all apparently 😂 try not to worry too much ❤️

I’ve been leaving my little girl (with family) since she was a week old. I find that the sooner you do it and the more you do it the easier it gets. My daughter is now 17 months and whilst I miss her when someone else has her I don’t worry or feel stressed about it. It’s good for babies/toddlers to get used to being left from an early age to prevent separation anxiety. If they are staying with a parent then that shouldn’t be a worry at all because they should know what they are doing. Just stay calm, and try not to worry too much about it. If you need some structure leave a list of what needs doing when and message regularly for check ins. It will get easier I promise. Xx

My partner has been completely involved with our daughter since day 1 so I have had no issues or anxieties leaving her with him for any period of time. We ensured that we introduced bottles of expressed breast milk as soon as possible as we knew there was no way I was going to be around her 24/7. Your partner may find your lack of trust in him quite offensive? I know mine would if I was writing instructions for him etc. Sorry this isn't what you wanted to hear

@Princess she sleeps 20 minutes... the reason he needs instructions is because he needs instructions for simple tasks, yesterday I had to show him how to attach the pram bag to the pram, he even asked where it went first And it's not because he's never done it, he just finds things difficult

@Sabrina honestly I find your comment extremely rude She changes literally every week and fully depends on me for milk... even my mum who lives with us wouldn't know what to do with her and would have to figure it out if I just left her alone with the baby. It's not even in the slightest got to do with how hands on he is, he has difficulties and doesn't even know how to attach the pram bag to the pram But good for you and your "perfect" family, you judgy person

@Dajana luckily he's sending me loads of updates and he managed to get her to sleep so I feel much calmer

@Daisy I have literally tried so many bottles with her and mam is the only one we have the slightest bit of luck with 🥲

@Chloe I did the same, I've had family around since the day she was born and I just let them take her, when we visit family I just leave her with them to enjoy her. But the problem is that when she needs milk she needs me, so I've only been able to leave her for like an hour max. She's fine with her dad and absolutely loves spending time with him, she's even much calmer with him sometimes then with me... but it's literally just the worry of whether she will drink without me

@Lauren no he doesn't find it offensive, he doesn't like when I repeat things so he was quite happy I just wrote all the basics down on paper for him

That’s understandable but you don’t know until you try. Hope something works out. Xx

I know it sounds rather blunt to say, but if a baby is hungry, they’ll eat, regardless of how upset they are. It’s an innate instinct. She may get fussy and a bit upset but she’ll eventually feed with or without you. It’s basic survival. You just need to ensure your partner is happy and comfortable with persevering when your baby gets upset. As long as he knows she’s not in pain and he’s done everything else he can do (bum change etc) then she’ll be okay. The sooner you do it the better and she needs to learn to feed without you. We introduced an expressed bottle within two weeks and she has no problems taking a bottle from anyone now. She obviously relaxes more with me but she’s happy drinking with others. Maybe introduce your partner giving bottle feeds more often even when you’re there so baby gets used to it?

My little one is 11 weeks, I usually feed just before I leave (although so far we’ve done 2 hours maximum). My baby is breastfed but will take a bottle from my mum or partner if I’m not there. Also baby settles for them how he won’t for me! So don’t stress. They’ll find what works for them & baby won’t starve in 4 hours, may just be extra hungry on your return! x

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@Lorren not always!! My little one was EBF and fully refused the bottle, no matter what we tried. I ended up in hospital without her and she went 14 hours with no milk, she would rather have starved than had a bottle!

Do some research on anxiety and coping with it. Work on some breathing techniques and different Strategies. You won't enjoy it if you are anxious the whole time. Also tell your partner to only message in an emergency so that if she cries, he comforts her without you and builds confidence. Tell him to message not call, message if there is an emergency so that the crying doesn't distress you more.

Arwh do not worry at all. My OH hadn’t been alone with my little one for long at all but dived into the deep end at 4 months when I had uni stuff to do. EBF and REFUSED bottles. It did wonders for their bond though and he managed to work out what LO would do for milk. When they are working , I think it’s hard for them to understand the whole nap/ feeding schedule. My husband was great on weekends but I was there so would automatically take over without thinking if he was fussing. No fault of my OH at all. It’s only 4 hours- he’ll survive and so will your LO. 10 months on, my Lo still refused bottles from me but will drink from a sippy cup or open cup with my OH. 👌

Why on earth would he not know how to attach the pram bag??? After a few goes it’s just common sense I just can’t understand why her father doesn’t seem to know anything. Your mum is your mum, he’s her literal father he should know exactly the same as you do considering he’s also the parent

@Rachel that's exactly what mine is like, we have literally tried not giving her the boob with me being there (without her knowing I was there) and she just would not take it... even screaming, the bottle was not something she was willing to touch at all! Hate it when people say she wouldn't let herself starve because I honestly believe she would

@Kirsty that's exactly the same! I even gave my little one breastmilk from a mug before and she took it. But bottles? No no

@Sabrina he's missing some common sense, it has nothing with him being a good/active father or not. He's with us all the time and he sees me do things, and I tell him things... but hours later (even minutes sometimes) he will forget and ask again. It's annoying but he can't help it, so there's no reason to be so mean about it, he is her other parent but I'm still always going to be her main parent anyway

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