Postpartum Weight Gain!!

**for the ladies that are not going to say “your partner shouldn’t be telling you anything” (because some of us want to know!!) What would be the best way for your man to tell you that you’ve gained weight or that it is time to start acknowledging your weight gain without you feeling offended or attacked? Asking because my boyfriend and I speak openly about it and he is very gentle about the topic.. honestly I think I’m the one to bring it up and he says he likes it but he also has gained a fair amount of weight since we met… BUT my brother’s wife has gained a lot after two pregnancies and she has vaguely mentioned to me about wanting to work on things after baby #3 is born in Sept. but my brother doesn’t know how to address it with her because they have never discussed it and she likes to indulge in unhealthy options all the time.
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I think it depends on her personality and her desires for losing weight. Personally, I prefer a partner centric approach, getting healthy together so we can live long healthy lives for our kids. Neither my husband nor I get offended talking about our weight or our goals. I’d probably start it like that if I were him, a desire for a lifestyle change together with the goal of being healthy.

I'm lucky I don't keep weight on so you'd never know I'd had 3 kids unless I told you, I'm a UK size 10. But my husbands cousin asked me how to sensitively bring it up with his gf, I think if he said that he wanted to try out workout classes and wanted support could she join him it takes the focus off her feeling self conscious and undesirable and makes her feel like she's supporting her man and something they can do together would be nice. He could say he wants to spend 1 on 1 time but wants to eat healthier and shred? Xx

Ah I totally think this is unique to the dynamic of the couple and the way to interact. For me and my husband, any comment would come from a health perspective and the perspective of wanting to spend a long active life together. I wouldn’t want my husband suggesting anything he wouldn’t also do himself. So maybe we buy better groceries and don’t eat out as often. If your brother is the one grocery shopping (my husband does it for our house) he’d take lead and buy certain things and open the dialogue of how he wants the family to be healthier. When eating out suggest better options and communicate why. Maybe workout together or offer space for her to get out and do a class on her own while he watches the babes.

We’re very open w each other when we’ve gained or lost. I think we’ve just been together that long that’s it’s all just direct (still gentle) but nothing offends the other here anymore. I’m very direct. I’m just a straight forward person in general, even my friends know how blunt I am sometimes. He bought weights for home for last month for both of us coz I was mentioning his belly getting a bit big 💁🏻‍♀️ but I also added I wanna tone my arms and my glutes as well so the weights aren’t just for him. When you suggest something you can do TOGETHER instead of just recommending for that person only, the person will be more considerate and open coz it’s a change for the BOTH of you whether that’s change in food, or taking walks together, or starting weights/gym together.

All I know is saying if you gain a bunch of weight after birth I’m not gonna find you attractive anymore and lose interest isn’t the way to go as far as the rest once y’all figure that out let me know 😂

So from the perspective of one who gained a lot of weight after’s hard for me for other reasons as well but I know that I need to work on it which I do..but it’s also hard to look in the mirror. I’m not sure if your sister in law feels the same. (Sorry pressed send too soon!!) But it’s definitely helpful when my husband and I are on the same page about limiting junk food and choosing the healthier options and not having the stuff in our house! My husband is a sweets aholic so it’s hard but yeah. Idk!! That’s just my piece. It helps to be on the same page..and gentle/willing to help

For me, there is never a way to talk about it without me getting offended, but that's because weight is very personal and I've struggled for a while. For us, because I am very sensitive about it, I openly tell him my goals and what steps I want to do to achieve them. He then will hold me accountable to what I said I would do. This works the best because it doesn't make me feel like he's saying I look like a disgusting fat whale. Perhaps, he can ask her gently if she has any goals she wants to tavkle after the baby gets here and offer his assistance to help her so she doesn't feel like she's alone in getting her goals accomplished? I'm thinking if she feels like she has support, she's be more likely to achieve weight loss?

"I'm worried about your health. You've gained some weight lately and I want you to be your best self for our family. Let's work together to make time for you to prioritize yourself and your health."

@Sharon ditto to daily family walks, that's a good idea!

I'm always the one to bring it up he has said he doesn't like talking about because he doesn't want to upset me but I think the best thing to say is hey can we have an open and honest conversation about your health I think starting that way is a good way to let someone know you care about them and because you care is why you want to talk about thier unhealthy poor choices it's easier to talk about eating disorders like anorexia or blima but over eating is a problem too wighing too much and being overweight is a problem but it is often seen as body positivity and i love my 170lbs 230lbs, 240,lbs 300,lbs extra body but truth of the matter is it isn't good to be overweight nor is it good to be under weight both are extremely unhealthy and both have very serious health problems linked to them and both can cause death

I think the best way is for the partner to say things like, "Let's start going for walks every evening together." This would help you bond and get some exercise. She could say it's for the benefit of your health. Or say things like, "Do you want us to get a gym membership?" Or just surprise you with healthy meals. Some gyms have daycare while you work out But if not he could say something like, " Would you like me to watch the kids a couple of times a week so that you can work out at the gym?"

@Sharon same! We went on vacation and ended up taking a walk after every meal and we are trying to implement those changes into our life as well!

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