Feeling down!

I feel like I’m 29 years old and I haven’t done enough with my life. I have beautiful children and I’m married. But that doesn’t make me feel like I am full. Lately I am realizing that I feel alone. When I mean alone I only have my children and husband, and I love that don’t get me wrong, but I don’t have no one else to talk to, no friends(maybe like 2 and over the years we got more apart) no family members or a good relationship with my adopted mother. I do feel that I need to heal from childhood and other things, and that I might be broken because it seems that I can’t be fully happy and I want to be a healthy person, I have days where everything is ok. But then this week my husband went away for few days for a work thing and I’ve been in my head thinking that all I have is him. My life revolves around him and my kids. I have lost myself and I don’t know how to change it. I know I need a therapist for sure. I already went to my first appointment. I am eating healthy and doing exercise because I also feel insecure with my belly area, I am listening to motivational podcast and neuroscience but I am a mess still in my head . I told my husband the other day “I’m sorry that I am a mess” because I get stressed out so fast and overwhelmed. I’m also 10 month postpartum not sure if I have postpartum depression or depression or something… I never been diagnosed even tho I feel that I do suffer from that. I do have anxiety but no diagnosed either. Anyone know how can I start. I want to be the best mom for my children and best wife, I don’t want to ruin what I am building because of my thoughts.
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Can you try to connect with other mums at a local park or something? It sounds like you just really need one or two friends that you can catch up with a couple of times a week. Sometimes you just have to be the one to make the effort and put yourself out there. It is hard!

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