Am I the asshole?

FIL doesn’t want us to get pregnant, MIL, me, baby daddy and my family are happy. We know FIL will cause a fight like he did the last 2 times. Am I the asshole if we fall pregnant but claim it to be “accidentally” to avoid the argument?
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Why does he have a say in whether you get pregnant?

@Robiat he doesn’t! But he is the type of man who thinks well I’m the head of the family it’s my choice on everything

I dunno if it’s keeps your peace sure but I’d really want to be crushing that kind of behaviour instead of enabling it today he’s having opinions on how many kids you have tomorrow he’s bullying your kids because he doesn’t agree with them

Well, tough luck for him as he is infact not the head of your family. If your husband and you are happy, go ahead, what will he do about it He will moan but thats his Buisness As long as you have your family to support Even if you say its accidental, i dont think it will affect how he reacts but if you think it’ll help by all means dear

I’d be telling him straight up it’s none of his business otherwise he’s only going to think he can control you when parenting. It’s your family, your body, your life.

What’s it got to do with him anyway? It’s your decision! I’d do it regardless and then then make a point of saying it was planned

@Marissa oh he does anyway, we are terrible parents if you ask him 😂

I mean I wouldn’t tolerate that behaviour but is he like that because you are both young? Do you both work? Are you living with parents? I had a friend who’s dad was so anti her having a baby but he saw she wasn’t mentally or financially in a place to grow, birth & raise a baby…

@Lauren my husband owns his own company, we’re married, my husband is 27 this year, have our own car, in our own house. He’s just a Mardy man who thinks he should be the one is charge

What's it got to do with him?!

I wouldn’t enable his behaviour by saying it was an “accident”. I don’t know your family nor your dynamic, but it’s about time he realised that what you and your partner choose to do within your own family is really none of his business and he needs to stay in his lane.

Why does he have a say? He shouldn’t have an opinion in this case. Not his sperm, uterus or body. Usually grandparents are ecstatic. Are you guys financially dependent on him? Asking because I know it is common in a lot of cultures/multigenerational households. If this is the case, then better to not depend on him financially. I say because if someone is financial supporting one, they feel entitled to give opinions. And in such cases, try to remove him from the equation. Even if you are dependent on him, your partner (or you or both) needs to have a conversation with him about this. And NTA for saying it was accidental. But I guess there would be regardless if you say it was or wasn’t planned.

His opinion is irrelevant. But I get where you are coming from you don’t want the fight that comes along with it. So no you are not the a**hole he is for making you feel you need to lie when you are happy and planning this.

Be happy and do what makes you and your so/bd happy.

Oh wow! No then of course, it’s your body and if you & your husband want to have a family then no one should be in your way! I’d politely tell him to mind is business

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