Baby sleep not improving at all 😪

Someone please help, I’m at the end of my rope with my babe. She’s 8 months old and I’m very lucky to have even just two wake ups. Last night from 3am she woke up every ten mins wanting to be cuddled back to sleep until I gave in at 4.30 and put her in bed with me. I’m at breaking point with these wake ups and I’m entering into a really sad state of mind. This is her routine: 7am wake up 9-9.30 nap 12-1 nap 4-4.30 nap 7.45 bed She seems to be very ready for her naps when they come around so I’m hesitant to change things I just feel like she cannot self soothe on her own! I’m wondering if I should remove her dummy but I’m not sure. Last night she’d only sleep when on me. I’ve persevered for months thinking it’ll get better but she’s just not. 😭
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I was at this point a month or so ago, I felt broken! I never agreed with sleep training prior but I was getting ratty and frustrated during the day, I felt I wasn’t a good mam so I looked into it, looked at research ect as really didn’t want to cause any long term psychological issues which is my biggest worry. I came across Ferber sleep training and followed it but did 2 min check ins every time they recommend bigger gaps but I didn’t feel comfortable with that. Prior to this my little girl needed lots of intervention to sleep and I had to put her down very asleep so I thought it’d take weeks with lots of crying. I only ever did 4x 2 min check ins on the 3rd night, she wasn’t never hysterical just moany cries. No cries after 3rd night, she was waking every 45 to 2 hours, now she wakes once or twice max genuinely for food. Sometimes stirrs and I’ll pop dummy back in. We haven’t tried day sleep as I enjoy contact naps but it’s worked wonders for night sleep and really did save us x

I was never for sleep training myself with my first daughter but I read and did so much research and found that there are more recent findings show that there are no long term psychological issues and also that it is much better for them that we allow them to learn the skill to self soothe. Not gonna lie, it was hard because my heart breaks whenever I hear my babies cry but it's the best thing I've done for her (and me)...

I also introduced a small comforter with it, one that I wore for two days so it has my scent and she hugs it to sleep now. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions xx

Thanks ladies! My questions are: Usually babe will spit her dummy out and I’ll have to keep popping one back in. Do you think I should wean her off dummies so she can self soothe? Or every two minutes pop it back in? I did try Ferber for a few days and she ended up just working herself up so much and needed rocking back to sleep. Maybe it’s my own fault for giving in? And I wouldn’t be able to give her a comforter as her sleep sack has hand covers so she can’t grab anything but she does sleep with two very light Muslins next to her face for comfort so maybe I’ll just stick with that? Thanks for all your advice mummas!! ♥️♥️♥️

Which sleep sack does she use? I think at this age, they should have their arms free as they are able to do (or start learning) all these little things on their own ie rolling over, putting the dummy back if it falls out, hugging a comforter or bunny, etc so having her hands covered may restrict her learning these skills too. Personally, Ferber didn't work for me because it riled my eldest daughter even more whenever we went in and she can see us but we're not picking her or staying. So this time around, I tried the extinction method which worked for me. It is entirely up to you shat you're comfortable with but this was something I chose based on all the research findings and abstracts that I read. Tbh, I could not have done it with my first so it is tough but I also didn't do much research when I had my first. Here if you have anymore questions xx

I don’t believe in ‘weaning’ off dummies personally. It’s really hard for their brains to understand at this age that they have it for certain times and not others, they just can’t grasp that. It’s so much easier to just go cold turkey. My nearly 8 month old has always been a good sleeper and never woke up, but when he hit 6.5ish months the wakeups were every 1-2 hours just for his dummy. I took it off him completely. Was a hard few days and nights don’t get me wrong, but it was literally 2 days and then it was like the dummy never existed. He doesn’t wake up at all now. I also agree with above comments about sleep training. It can be so helpful and beneficial. Just research a method that you think would work for you and baby. We did modified Ferber around 4 months and he’s been so good at self settling since. Most babies will wake in the night - just like adults do. But they do need to learn that it’s ok for them to go back to sleep without any intervention xx

@Amelia thank you for replying. When you were getting your bub off the dummy, did you soothe in any other way? Rocking or shushing? I don’t want to remove one crux for another. 😅

My little one was doing this, spitting dummy out, but it’s improved loads. She spits it out but stays asleep now. Sometimes after 5am she spits it out a few times and stirrs and I need to pop it back in then but I think that’s when her sleep pressure is low so more likely to wake. I think her learning to self soothe helped the dummy situation. I think my little girl would get so worked up if I tried Ferber without the dummy and would feel that may have been cruel to get rid of something that soothes her if that makes sense but each to their own and if you think that’s needed, you’ve got to do what’s best. What’s the night time environment like when trying Ferber? Do you have a consistent bedtime routine so baby knows it’s bedtime? I only ever got her out her bed once to cuddle her while doing it but that night she was a little unwell. Maybe some babies aren’t ready to self soothe and that’s why they get so worked up I’m not sure x

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