My boyfriend thinks it’s okay to buy his son’s mother gifts for her birthday Mother’s Day etc. They talk as they are besties and lovers still and he still stays round hers sometimes when he has his son. I said it’s wrong for him to do any of that from the sleeping in her home to buying her gifts and he thinks I’m the one in the wrong and he’s just trying to maintain a good relationship am I being unreasonable and jealous or is that man just lacking sense. Ps I just gave birth 2 weeks ago and he spent 2 days at hers whilst I’m looking after my newborn alone
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I'd say the gifts ect I'd personally be okay with as it's from the children but the staying at her house ect I'd be uncomftable with. Congrats on giving birth 🧡

I agree with the gifts as I think it’s right for him to buy presents from his son but not the staying over that’s a little unreasonable x

I feel like buying her gifts is okay as it is the mother of his child but the staying over his house is a no go and you need to cut him off his definitely still sleeping with her there’s no way! You can maintain a good relationship without sleeping over at your child’s mums house why can’t there son stay with him at his house if he wants to be there and that’s crazy that he spent 2 days with her whilst you just had their baby please girl be strong and leave this man it will hurt you more staying then leaving sending all the love x

I’m fine with gifts but not staying over. I think it’s important to be respectful and to get presents from the child to his mother, that relationship will never fade as they coparent. It’s very normal for dads to buy gifts for the child to give to the mother, even afterwards. My father took me shopping to buy my mum a bday gift from me for her, it’s just respect. Staying over though is a no. They coparent, they aren’t together and you’ve just given birth to his next child xx

It feels like he wants to have you both but it's unfair to you to look after a newborn alone. Big no!

See this to me would be a big nono. I can fully appreciate a good co parenting relationship I'm envious of anyone who has one. But even then I've never heard of there being sleep overs or gift buying unless they're up to something on the side. If she was a decent person she'd be sending him straight back to support you and the new born. I may sound harsh but that's how my brain works 😅

Buying gifts is okay, it will teach his son to be thoughtful around special days and occasions. Staying at her house in my opinion is unnecessary and shouldn’t be happening, especially when you have a newborn that you will need support with. Is he unable to have his son overnight in your home? I don’t understand the reasoning behind him needing to stay at her home and it sounds a little bit fishy to me. Having a good relationship with the mother of his child isn’t a huge red flag as I’m sure if you weren’t together you’d hope this was the case for you for your child’s benefit however I would set firm boundaries in place with this or think about the future of the relationship!

Sleeping in her house it’s very wrong for me but the present, it’s good as he is teaching his son to be generous and kind.

Why would he go at hers for 2 days whilst you just gave birth? That’s totally unacceptable. Also why sleeping at hers? I understand if he goes to see his child but no point staying there whilst the child is sleeping? The presents are the least problem, but personally I wouldn’t like that.

Regarding the gifts, I think that’s completely acceptable and a nice thing to do. I remember when my parents divorced my Dad would still buy my Mum Mother’s Day gifts from us and make us write cards other wise she wouldn’t get anything.

I do not think it's okay he stays at his ex's for days. But I would ask do you allow his son to stay at your house with your partner? Is your partner comfortable asking this? Is his mum?Do you share your house with your partner? Or is it just your house. Does his ex go out whilst he is at her house with his son? It could be she does and he is being childcare whilst she is out. I think the main thing is do you all communicate. Do you talk to his ex? Are you on good terms and is it amicable? Or could he be telling her another story. I feel like it really helps if you're all on the same page but also it's really hard when you're two weeks in alone with a baby and as she has a baby she should understand that. Presents and gifts are fine after all she is raising one of his children as are you now and they are siblings as such so it's important to try to be amicable but also try get to the bottom of what's really going on when he stays there if something feels odd trust your instincts 🫶🏼

Message me as a I been in the same situation girl

Giving birth in under 14 days and him staying there for 2 days is pretty disrespectful. I believe you deserve the attention and love. Along side his son. And your new born. That’s it. Respect to his old partner is all that is required. Buying gifts for her birthday, Mother’s Day. Whilst actively in a new relationship can be offensive and because you’re not taking it right (I wouldn’t too) he should honour your POV and stop. Ofc gifts for the son is okay !! Things like that keep an old relationship alive. I think we should analyse a few things like : is the previous mother in a current relationship now. Because I’m sure if she was her new man wouldn’t her ex to be getting gifts and staying over. Purely because the principle is wrong. A good relationship is maintained with just mutual respect. But I hope things get better and he’s able to reason and you fully understand his POV and vice versa. All it takes is a conversation. Wishing you the best and congratulations ❤️

He's having his cake and eating it. Terrible behaviour

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