Devastated again

I’m so sorry 😔 it’s so hard. I had an ectopic after trying for what felt like forever. I now have a 4 month old so don’t lose hope, I’m sending baby dust to you. After 3 miscarriages, you and your partner should have tests done to establish why babies aren’t sticking. It may be hormonal imbalance etc. and you can take medication. I didn’t plan on getting pregnant so soon after my ectopic and I feel it was down to being relaxed. We decided not to try until end of the year and 13 days later I tested positive. I know it’s easier said than done but stressing about it puts pressure on the body. I also stopped testing ovulation and just made sure I was having sex every couple days, feel it was putting pressure on me too. Wishing you best of luck and a sticky baby ❤️

@Ki What type of tests can be done? This is a pure honest question. My ob office has treated me like absolute trash and always have and were entirely unsympathetic about my last miscarriage and treated me like I was just another number while getting blood drawn to watch my hgc dwindle away and they pushed me out the door faster than I knew what happened. And this question may be a little personal but you had said you were having sex every few days ? I know everyone and everything is different but is it multiple times or just once... we had 6 times in 48 hours during peak ovulation and im just crushed

This will sound vulgar but both of my children were conceived in the hot tub. Have you tried water? I swear by it, both first times. I’ve never ever fallen pregnant without water x

I'm so sorry for your losses I fully relate to how you are feeling right now. I had been trying for 6 years with 3 losses in that time and I felt like I could just give up at times. I honestly don't even know what did the trick but I'm currently 35 weeks along with my little rainbow baby. I never thought it would happen. My doctors did help me through testing to find out why I was having a hard time, they tested my blood for autoimmune disease and any other conditions that could affect pregnancy as well as a genetic analysis and did internal imaging to check my uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes for any abnormalities. They also had my husband get his sperm quality tested. Everything came back normal which was actually so frustrating because they acted like nothing at all was wrong, but I felt like there had to be a reason. Feel free to message me if you want someone to talk to ❤️

I'm very sorry, if I was you I'd go find out why, get tests done, get medication whatever you need, nourishing diet, keep going, don't think about it too much

So there are loads of tests they should do and in UK it’s now standard after 2 consecutive miscarriages, used to be 3. They include, blood tests to measure hormone levels and test for autoimmune disease etc. forgot to mention I have hypothyroidism and my levels were off that’s why it took a while for me to conceive. Once I fixed them I got pregnant. Other tests such as ultrasounds to check internal structures, endometrial biopsy to check your uterus is okay to house a baby, chromosomal tests and thrombophilia blood tests and your partner should get his sperm quality and mobility checked - many miscarriages are down to sperm quality. I’m sorry they’ve been unhelpful, maybe change OB? So sounds like 6 times in 48 hours is really stressful. You only need to have sex once in 48/72 hours as sperm lives for 5 days so once a day on your fertile days should do it. I had it once in a week on my fertile days (when I looked back after finding out) and got pregnant. Morning time is better also x

@Ki im sure I can go in and ask for all these tests but now hearing how its normal to start tests after the second miscarriage and I've has 3 means they just don't care enough about me Their last words to me were a very stern and RUDE "you need to call us the second you get that positive test again so we can start blood work and watch your hcg to see if it's viable" Those are the absolute last words I want to hear after having my blood drawn and a baby currently dead inside me I may full out switch providers and just rage hate and try to bring down the other office I hate hate hate drs because of the way they lie to you just to get you out of the room so they can bill someone else and pay for their 3rd house in the camayan Islands My uterus is extremely baby worthy and i won't let anyone else tell me different I have already had 1 baby but for years I have been unsuccessful and yes while I love my other child too I so desperately want to give them a sibling and share my love

In the UK we’ve had to fight for the testing to happen after 2 but it’s different here because healthcare isn’t billed like in USA and our healthcare system is crumbling. But I literally agree the way they spoke to you is why I suggest changing providers. That’s awful and I’m sorry they said that at that time. People just don’t think I swear. I completely understand why you want another baby. Just know you don’t have to justify yourself and never let anyone tell you “you have one you should be grateful, people can’t have any”. I hear this too much and your feelings are completely valid. Obviously things change as we get older and our bodies sometimes aren’t where they need to be. Lots of people I’ve heard who have had consecutive miscarriages tends to be progesterone levels and taking progesterone as soon as you get a positive tests really helps. Research suggests after 3 miscarriages taking progesterone can increase chances of successful pregnancy by 15%. Good luck lovely x

I used a company named proov if you want to look them up, my ob had heard of them and agreed it was with trying before doing a million tests. They have you take different tests (all urine tests like lh strips) at different points of your cycle and I found out that I was ovulating well but as soon as I did my progesterone tanked (and it needs to be increasing in order to sustain a pregnancy) I used their balancing oil the next cycle (after trying for 7) and got pregnant that time 🙂 my body just needed a little help making more progesterone and for me it was quicker than doing a bunch of tests

The stress from trying doesn’t help. My best friend tried for years and had 1 miscarriage she was devastated and decided to take a break from trying. She conceived her rainbow baby shortly after.