Stressing about age gap

TTC baby #2 and I can’t help but feel worried about my first and second getting too far apart in age. I thought I wanted a 3-4 year gap, but now I’m regretting that choice and regretting not trying sooner. Everyone around me with kids my son’s age has already had their second, and my son has no cousins or friends his age, and doesn’t go to daycare. Thinking of starting preschool at 3 just so he can have friends his age. I know I shouldn’t be so stressed and there’s nothing wrong with age gaps, but my mom had 4 kids all 2 and 3 years apart, and we were so close growing up. I just want that for my son and I’m worrying that I’m screwing that up and I feel so guilty, especially if I don’t conceive soon. Anyone have some encouraging stories of 4 year age gaps?

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Here! My sister is 4 years younger than me. My husband is 2 years younger than his brother. None of us are particularly close, even though we see our siblings often enough. Our siblings are single & childless & very different from us individually. My girl cousins are 7 years apart & they are best friends, do a lot of things together. Another friend had her 1st & 2nd less than 18 months apart, hoping they’d be close & she says they are the least close of her 4 children 🤷🏻‍♀️ So I don’t think age gaps or sex matter for closeness :) I think it depends on personalities. Don’t worry :) Also I have 3, who are 3 & 4 years apart! :) It wasn’t really planned that way, happened for reasons out of my control, but I’m happy with it. I got to spend a lot of time with each child during their toddler years, they’re potty trained, weaned & more independent. It’s so sweet watching them love their baby brother & my oldest will probably remember more about me being pregnant & him being a baby.

My hubby and I are in the same boat as you. As an educator, I see this gap a lot in siblings and they are totally fine and love playing with each other. My students tell me all about it all the time.

I feel like I could have written this myself; we initially wanted a 2 year gap between siblings, but had a medically complicated pregnancy and early toddlerhood for our little. We moved and she doesn’t have any children her age in her life so we put her in daycare (which actually only has one other child) and I got a new job. We planned for her to go for about a year before I would stop working again and have #2. But unfortunately life happened financially we aren’t ready for #2 yet and don’t see it happening for another 2ish years. I feel so regretful of not having a second sooner and that I stole that sibling relationship from her.

As the oldest of 3 kids, with siblings 8 and 16 years younger than me - age gap means nothing. I experienced both the annoying younger siblings phase and the closer than ever siblings phase. We all love eachother immensely and have talked about how our age gap made us appreciate the others so much more. It allowed us to be individuals, and not linked together for everything. And I think it made for better relationships with our parents.

I am 3 years older than one of my sisters and 7 years older than the other. I definitely got along better with my youngest sister when we were kids.

I don’t think age gaps always make a difference at all. I know people with siblings like 1 year younger & they couldn’t stand each other growing up. Then there are people who are so close with their much younger sibling. There’s never a guarantee that age will determine like ability at all with siblings.

My brother and I are 4 years apart and we have always been very close! Still hold a very close bond as adults. Him and my older sister are 2 years apart and they are not as close. So I don’t think age gap makes a difference!

Thanks everyone! I just felt so alone with literally everyone around me having 2 year gaps. It started to feel like bigger age gaps in my area are unheard of. I just needed to hear about something else!