@Sarah Thank you for explaining! I tried researching it but still became Confused. We reside in Va. I did wonder about it being arranged. Not sure why she didn’t respond or why. Still weird to post without formally telling me you know? 😔 It is not about me so I will give her time.
Awwn, you can message me if you like. I might have some insight on this situation as well.
Is she African?? I’m African and Traditional marriage is basically a wedding with our traditional attires, that occurs on the day your husband pays for your dowry. Depending on which part you are from west, east, north, south you follow wtv your traditional tribe does. It’s different for everyone.
And it also sounds like it might have an arranged marriage, if she showed up married out of the blue when she desired to date. I have a lot of Muslim friends that are African and she more likely had an arranged marriage with her cousin. Not saying that all Muslims do this but based on what you wrote here and what I’ve heard
Ok lmk in I
Sounds like an arranged marriage. I had one as well! In an arranged marriage, the end goal is marriage. So everything may have been kept a secret because, again like I said, the end goal is marriage and if things don't work out then not everyone knows about it. It's only when everything is done and the knot is tied that you can make everything public and official. Arranged marriage couples can take a longer time to court each other before marriage (my husband and I took close to a year so most of our close people knew we were a couple)...whereas with other couples everything can happen within a few weeks (meeting each other, courting, engagement, marriage etc)...so perhaps that's why you weren't aware of anything. I do find it odd that she didn't text you back? Perhaps she's busy in married life? Anyhow, wish her the best!
@Joseline yes, she is from Uganda. Thank you so much.
@Safa Thanks I did, yesterday.
@Preeti sorry, Thank you for explaining. I still haven’t heard back. I’m a little hurt as became friends over 20 years ago and have kept in touch, not consistent convo still connected through life experiences. When she texted traditional marriage, I responded “what is that exactly?” Because I was honestly still confused. I feel bad for not saying congratulations and I didn’t mean harm. I would love her the same 😔 meanwhile more random posts on social media…
@Sarah sorry, Thank you as well! I added more information in another response but I still haven’t heard back from her since Tuesday.
@Preeti Arranged marriage is different in every culture to be honest if she’s African (Ugandan to be exact) there’s no time to getting to know each other it’s arranged for a reason and they have no choice but to get married
@Joseline does this apply to adult women as well? Not sure if this is a age thing. Just curious. A-lot to unpack. We are in the US so I never knew that this happens here too unless this all took place in Uganda.
I don’t know about adults over 30 mainly because a lot of them get married before 30
@Joseline oh ok. Thank you for answering my 1000’s of questions lol. It has been a week and still no response. I feel disappointed that I had to come here to get more understanding 😟 In due time, we will talk I guess.
I am not Muslim but I do have several Muslim friends. My understanding from what they have told me is A: it depends on where you live as to the actual customs. B: arranged marriages by the bride and groom's parents or even a matchmaker is still common practice. C: there are still many places there that allow men to have several wives. D: They do have wedding practices in some places where the bride doesn't even need to be present for the wedding. Again I am not Muslim and this is just my understanding of what has been told to me. Her family might participate in some or all of these customs so maybe she didn't tell you because she didn't really know her husband beforehand.