Postpartum Rage
I am really struggling with post party rage towards both my lo and my partner. My LO won’t go to bed at night naps great all day the minute I start her bed time routine all signs of tiredness goes away and she is up fussing from about 7-12. I can’t keep staying up that late and the screaming she does is so bad. I’m so sleep deprived it’s not even funny I honestly miss her newborn nights that was better then this at least I would get some sleep early in the night now I get nothing between those hours because she won’t go to sleep. I want to scream and cry. Most nights I’m sobbing by midnight. My partner tries to be helpful and is always asking me. What do you need? What can I do but that just makes my brain hurt more.
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I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's definitely hard and frustrating. I dealt with PPD and rage as well and it isn't easy. I ended up getting on medication to help me cope until my hormones leveled out and things got a bit "easier" at home. How much is she sleeping during the day? She might be napping too long or too close to bedtime. Maybe try to adjust daytime sleep and see if that helps at all. There are schedules you can follow online and they'll also tell you what the usual "wake windows" are according to age
It could be that she has her days and nights mixed up. At 1 month (going by your profile), she's still a newborn. She could be having one of many growth spurts. Witching hour usually happens between 6-9pm but could be 7-12 for you. That's when we are most depleted and need to put in all that extra effort in the last lap. Please lean on your partner and anyone else to help. He sounds like a willing partner. Writing lists that he can refer to besides asking you all the time should also help. And during this rapid transition for you (and your partner and baby too), I have to mention leaning on your community and health providers that can both offer and connect you to more resources. Sending love.