Single and BD isn’t helping ?

also we haven’t spoke since I told him he as rude for not coming at the weekend . He hasn’t messaged to check in on me or the baby , because we aren’t together is that normal ?

I’m very sorry. It seems like this is just the type of person he is.

If he’s not helping now. He won’t help most likely when baby is here. Just focus on yourself and new baby and your other child.

i’m feeling the same now too , do you think I should just leave it up to him to reach back out ?

I don’t think you should ever beg someone to be around if they don’t want to be around. You live your life. You make your decisions for you and your babies and no one else. If he comes around one day, that’s wonderful. But you can and will survive this without him. The only thing worse than a man walking out on his baby is a man being around who clearly has no interest

I do have my own place , have almost complete my baby to do list , redecorated , put deposit on pram , my family is over the moon , I work full time and support myself. So it just hurts that i’m still hoping for the emotional connection from the dad , i guess I have to learn to live with the fact he’s not actually as great as I thought and probably gets away with it because everyone thinks he’s so amazing . Just wish someone would would through the door and care for me x

@Ashley that’s not true at all, he’s probably still trying to accept and come to terms with it. Not that I’m making excuses for him at all but my bd was like this in the beginning, I’m now 37 weeks and things have changed. Still not where I want us to be but he’s better now so I’m hoping and imagining things will get even better when baby’s here.

On the other hand, you have to be realistic too and probably accept that things may not go the way you’d have hoped they would.

Sounds like my baby daddy smh he told me that my pregnancy was a self journey. He hasn’t been there not once and I had only saw him maybe twice while I was pregnant with me initiating the visits smh. If he’s not there now nor is he calling then baby girl this is about to be a single journey. Don’t force him to be there bc if he wanted to be there he would be. My daughter is now 4 and half months old and her dad hasn’t checked in on her but decided to send me an angry text that I put him on child support and that she doesn’t have his last name. Shit is gonna hurt but as long as you have a good support system then you got this. I’m so sorry you’re going through this though bc what I’m dealing with I wouldn’t wish that pain on even my worst enemy.

@Alex i’m glad to hear things have gotten better a bit for you ! i am truly hoping the same . i am shocked at how he seems to be acting because he is such a good guy . i don’t know if it’s because he hasn’t seen me much , hasn’t seen my bump apart from a picture . I don’t know how he can go days without messaged me ? he said if something as wrong id let him know i said he’s not making a good enough effort , then hasn’t changed it’s gotten worse x

i haven’t reached out in the 3 days that he hasn’t messaged me and i will just keep it that way from the advice . i can do it alone , iv almost done everything i needed to do . so sorry to hear a lot are in the same spot . i hate that it’s went this way but hopefully i can start to feel less emotional over time . xxx

Just leave him to it his got your number he knows where you live he'll be the one who will regret not being around and that will be his problem don't make it yours to just don't let him mess you about when baby is here x

just because he’s like able and has friends don’t make him a good person pregnancy reveals a man’a true character EVERYTIME

@Emily i didn’t say that because he has friends he is a good person. iv been his friend for 8 years , he’s never had any tensions or issues with anyone . he’s a massive people person . i was describing him as i know him . not making a quick judgment . this is what’s adding to my shock as 8 years is a long time to all of a sudden change and not be around or supportive and why i posted the need for support .

it is a fact that a man will switch up on you during your pregnancy hell men change after 20 years of marriage 🤷🏻‍♀️ but you have look at the facts you’re his friend, you’re not his girlfriend or wife he only has a responsibility to the baby but even then men dip out (not saying he is) but it happens if he’s not there during the pregnancy what do you think the after pregnancy will look like? most of the time if a man is not there for your pregnancy (the most crucial part) then he won’t do well being a father that’s just my opinion and the reality is you got pregnant by hooking up with a friend not a boyfriend not your husband life is not always like the movies like we expect men to be there for us and change and do what we feel they should do it’s not okay you only seen him twice if he’s not trying to meet your parents then he’s not seeing anything serious because if a man WANTS to HE WILL i just feel like you shouldn’t be surprised because again y’all are friends

@Emily don’t comment on my thread again . I am here for support and advice not to be torn apart , you are the opposite of any woman that should be on here . I could comment on every point you have made and undo it but i don’t care to have a conversation with someone as nasty as you

@Emily having realistic expectations when deciding to proceed with pregnancy is important but you’ve absolutely got it all wrong. Maybe you have had a negative experience but that doesn’t mean everyone else will. In my opinion, as soon as a man & woman have sex, they have committed to the outcome of that. And I don’t think the man only owes it to the baby; they owe it to the mother too. Maybe different depending on which protection is used during intercourse etc but if absolutely nothing is used then I especially think the man needs to hold his hands up and take responsibility for the outcome. Your comment is completely unfair and inaccurate.

@Alex exactly this . That was a horrible comment she left but she’s gone now it appears

I was in a similar position to you just over 7 months ago, and although it was my choice to keep baby, I still expected father to be there for both of us. I also had realistic expectations for this pregnancy and raising this baby and knew that what I expected from him wasn’t necessarily gonna happen. Doesn’t mean that I should be beating myself about it etc and neither should you. You deserve the support from him no matter the dynamic, you might just have to accept that it won’t happen the way it should unfortunately.. Either way, you’ll get through it! I’m 37 weeks today and have went through this whole pregnancy alone, support from my family but it’s not the same as having a supportive partner. Yes I have down days but overall i feel so happy and positive now and am okay with how things have turned out as of yet

@Alex thank you i really hope it works out for me that way to. I only kept the baby because of him , he was the one who wanted to keep the baby and said he would support me in every way he could . he was speaking to me everyday for the first 2.5 months but now all of a sudden it’s changed and i feel like everything i was scared of is happening . I done this alone before and never had another child cus of how hard it was . I feel like i went through with this with the encouragement from him and now im alone and there’s nothing i can do about it . back to square 1 after 11 years of being a single parent already and struggling through it myself . yes i am strong but as you say you do long for the love from someone . i just hoped for better as i felt that’s what he ensured i would have .