How to keep calm?!

I’m loving being a mum and my 16 week old baby is so good sleeping through the night and in great health. My partner works from home and looks after LO frequently, also does a lot of cooking and cleaning.

So why do o keep losing my patience with him?! Today he has asked where the thermometer is, where the waterproof sheets are (he was with me when I put them in the wash basket) and what time we will be going into town and where we are going for lunch. I lost my patience when he didn’t know which cafe I meant (he suggested it only last week). I feel like I’m the household scheduler, tried to explain my frustrations to him to which he walks off saying I’m in “this mood” again.

Genuinely need to learn how to calm down and deal with these instances better because they keep happening. I feel justified to get angry in the moment but nothing positive is coming out of the arguments and I’m feeling more distant from my partner.

I used to be a calm person but since having LO I’m quick to anger and I’m holding on to anger for longer. Has anyone else experienced this and found any solutions??

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Yes definitely… the first thing is to acknowledge how frustrating and tiring it is to have to be the person responsible for taking the mental load of things. There’s reasons why we react that way and it’s not totally irrational. I know I’m more irritable post partum because I feel I have enough to deal with as it is. It’s a build up of frustration and also we are tired. Communication will help in the long run. Maybe consider therapy also? I’m having that currently and it’s a godsend x

Thanks how did you go about starting therapy. It’s something I’ve always been curious about but never known how to go about it 😩

I feel you, I'm sure PP rage is a thing! I've seen so many people talking about mental load and feeling like you're solely responsible for the household running. Second therapy - betterhelp is supposed to be amazing and a lot of YouTubers have discount codes for this. I received therapy years ago by going through my GP. I think also having an honest conversation to your partner about how you feel is important. You're obviously grateful for them and don't mean to blow up - I think the hormones still raging around our bodies is a great excuse 😅

I’m a huge fan of therapy. I actually made a self referral as asked by the midwife whilst I was pregnant and it took a few months to start. As I had given birth by that time, I was given priority. Not all therapists are a good fit but the current one is amazing! You might have a peri natal mental health team in your locality or ask your gp xx

As Becky said, the post partum rage is real! When you are both calm I would try to talk to him about being the default parent/adult and emotional labour. It sounds silly but there are plenty of good posts on instagram to start you off. Ive explained to my husband that doing the groceries doesnt ‘help’ if I also have to write the list or explain which wipes I meant, or having to make every decision like ‘when was her nappy changed… does she need changed now’ JUST DO IT 😂 and now he understands more about the mental load that mothers are always juggling ❤️

Thanks all, I’ll see if I can muster making a referral. I’ve had a look and you can self refer in my area. Think I’ve just got to work on my communication 😩😩

The rage is definitely real. I get angry at almost everything these days 🤣

in our community

If yall still giving your kids processed food, pls seek help

I understand not everybody can afford healthy ingredients all the time, but I’m seeing so many moms on social media giving they kids artificial cereals, coffee, frozen pancakes, velveetta Mac and cheese, hot Cheetos, kraft, the list goes on. I’m sorry but are yall not capable of cooking from scratch or ?? On top of that, if you still using canola and vegetable oil in 2026 you gotta stop. Am I the only one that notices this ???

Sahm .. the dad role .

Hi!! I’m 2 months pp. and I really would like your opinion on this situation if you have a moment.
So I have always had a job before the baby, and my bd .. not really. But 2 weeks before he was born he scored a really good job and I was able to be a sahm. Which is what I wanted , and I’m unsure if it’s still what I want or if the situation just isn’t right.
At first he was a great help in the hospital as I had an emergency c section. I was in the hospital for about a week and for most of that time I was in bed .
But after that.. I’m lucky if he will watch the baby while I shower .and I mean that seriously.
I am the only one who changes diapers, only one who bathes , feeds or watched him in general. And of course he may be tired after work but it’s like he completely avoids any responsibility. Like he will take a hour coming home and stop by his friends house otw . He will sit down stairs for hours knowing I won’t go down there bc I’m uncomfy . So I have the baby then.
We have been out maybe 2-3 times sense I had him & he refused to push the stroller c change or anything. In fact we got to the mall and said he needed to split up and I had the baby.
I feel he only wants the baby when it’s for … attention? Like to post the baby on social media or if his family is here he will take him .

I just feel like on days he doesn’t have work the next morning he should be helping , and if he is up early before work while I’m still sleeping he should get the baby instead of scrolling on reels for 3 hours .

Honestly he has really ruined my new born phase with my son. Within the first week of us being home I had to full on switch to survival mode I would call it. He would complain if dinner wasn’t done or if the room was a mess , he would complain if the diaper caddy had no diapers which really makes no sense bc he didn’t even changed the diapers . It was just everything.
I’m just wondering if there is anything I could say to get some type of help out of him.
I tried reaching out to his mother but honestly his hole family is oblivious to his behaviour.

Nursery ideas

Guys I need help! This is going to be my daughter’s nursery and I want to make it cute. Help me find an aesthetic look or a good layout to place some furniture/cribs etc!!

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Blw

Hi I am running out off ideas on what to make for Lil 14 month old for breakfast lunch and dinner if anyone have any resipes would be great to try my boy with them

Should I respect his wishes??

I’ve been a SAHM for 4 years now and my husband does a great job providing for our family and we never need for anything. With that i still had to sacrifice some wants like shopping when I want getting my hair and nails done regularly so when I can I try to supplement for my wants and savings by selling my craft items at vendor markets and recently I’ve started donating plasma. Which has been consistent income for me. $125 twice a week. Well my husband has expressed that he doesn’t like me donating plasma. He feels like it’s not worth it to put my body through those conditions for $125. He even went out to sell one of his guns today and gave me all the money and told me “I shouldn’t have to donate plasma no more”. That was so sweet but I disagree. I planned on continuing to donate plasma to save for my kids birthdays thats coming up, a trip we have planned and our anniversary. I don’t know what to do. I finally found something that pays something consistently and my husband is against it. What should I do?