Sad on ex’s birthday

Anybody get sad (?) on their ex’s birthday??? It’s so hard to describe this feeling. I’m so happy to not be with him after everything he put me thru. But. What is this feeling 🥴 It used to be an important date to me, i used to always plan something nice for him, bake, get dolled up, etc. & really celebrate him. He had things too good in general… I never planned on getting divorced….He messed up so bad repeatedly, I initiated the separation. It’s all a mess. He hasn’t sent anything for our daughter’s bday last week, no gift for her, & didn’t contribute a penny to her party, just has become a deadbeat essentially. Ruined his life with drugs, alcohol, and gambling. His life and mine….I should hate him, and in a lot of ways I do - but I also hope he’s having a decent day on his birthday….