I’m a horrible person
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Do you have anyone that can help you out while he is away? That is a long time for him to be gone. Does it not make more sense to go out there when his dad actually needs him? Like when he’s actually having procedures?? Like what is he even doing there right now? Playing Scrabble?
Is it possible to move dad in with y'all? Treatments likely will last a long time and if his dad lives alone and has no one he will probably need help for awhile
Is your fil well enough to move in with you guys? My father unfortunately was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer January 1st and unfortunately passed away the day before Valentine’s Day this year. Unfortunately he never got to the chemo as was too frail. I guess your oh will need to make a decision soon as it could take months and I assume he’s also got a job to go to. It’s a horrible position for him to be in though and you x
You shouldn’t feel horrible for feeling that way because now your doing everything yourself like if you became a single parent after having the kid already,it can be difficult and it happened so suddenly so you didn’t have time to even adjust or have a full proof plan made, yes his father’s situation isn’t good I agree with that but when you go from 50/50 to 0/100 that’s not easy to handle depending on the person,I would try to see if there’s other options for you guys like some of the ones in the comments such as if you guys would be cool/able with him moving to where you are
I think you’re going to need to come up with some work around because the minimum time he’ll be on chemo for is 6 weeks but it’ll likely be longer. It’s not realistic for your husband to be away from you and the toddler for months on end.
Is there anyway you could change anything in your life to help at all just for the meantime? Friend or family support, speaking to work to see if you could wfh a day or 2 a week, or could you put your studies on hold for a couple months? It is a lot to take on by yourself so don't feel bad for feeling overwhelmed anyone else in the same situation would likely need support x
Your not a horrible person. This is just a horrible situation that has occurred. You have every right to feel the way you do. Thats so much on your plate. I feel like there can be several options to discuss here. 1. Talk to hubs about his dad temperarily moving in. This can help everyone. 2. If number 1 isn't possible. See if you can reach out to your family/close friends and see if you can find support with them and have them help out during this time of need. 3. If family/friends are not able. Talk to your husband and look at y'all expenses/finanaces and see if a sitter or short term nanny is feasible to helping you out during this time. There are several avenues to look at but you defently need support as well since cancer journeys are not quick and take time. Talk to your husband and see what will work for you all. Wishing your family well during this hard time 💜
i think it would be best to try to see if you could move him in with you guys at your house and get him treated in your state. my mom was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in November 2022 and went into remission last summer. so in total she was in treatment getting chemo, radiation, and infusions for about a year. we had lived with my parents at that time and everything mainly went fine for the most part, she was able to drive to her appointments and when she couldnt either me or my dad would take her or one of her friends would. i would definitely have a talk with your husband because it sounds like he did rush to your father in law without fully thinking about what routes you guys can take. i second what @Shelley said as well
You’re not a horrible person. He’s allowed to be there for his dad, but he needs to balance it. He still has a responsibility to the family he made. Tell him how you’re feeling.