Feeling like a bad mum

My little boy is 3 in July. He’s been really tough going to bed recently and it’s causing a lot of tension. He woke up at 4.30am, my partner went to change him as he had wet through. He was in there for an hour and a half trying to get him to go back to sleep but all I could hear was constant crying and screaming (what he does at bedtime too). I went in to give my partner some relief as he has to go to work soon. My toddler immediately started screaming no I want daddy go away mummy. I was explaining daddy had to get ready for work etc and we could leave his room because the shouting would wake up his sister/neighbours etc. he’s still screaming at this point and starts hitting me to move, he only really does this when he’s super frustrated. I calmly say we don’t hit people. This goes on for like 10 minutes until he then starts hitting my face and I just loose it and shouted at him. He ran off to the corner of his room crying and looked terrified. I feel awful that I couldn’t hold in the shouting. He got all quiet then and was trying to hide behind his curtains so he was definitely scared and I just hate myself now. Not really sure why I’m posting just hoping others have gone through the same and that their toddler wasn’t scared forever 😢

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Oh gosh that sound terrible I have a similar story with my naughty dog and it made me feel soooo bad although it does doesn’t compare to a child it has always been haunting me that same thing will happen with my toddler and been trying to figure out well in advance how to handle it. I initially was looking into discipline methods like in the super nanny show where you would ignore the screaming and tantrums all together and just focus on getting the desired action which is left alone to sleep in the room,the intervention of the parents in this scenario was only to walk the child back to his bed from wherever he is off to in the middle of the night with no talking no interaction apart from saying that it’s bedtime ,no negotiating or bargaining as that would make you loose your patience.I’m sure other people who are already parents can give better advice that’s just what I’ve seen on telly 🤪

If you watch some of the episodes with sleep tantrums you’ll see how many times the child relentlessly tries to break the rules of bedtime Lying screaming kicking for a different reaction from you but the consistency of your reaction will ultimately get the desired result although it means you might have to work on it longer in the beginning as the tantrums in the first few nights of trying this could last hours but by week one you could see that down to a couple of minutes.

@Anne-Marie we actually used to do this! It worked well but since we’ve been potty training he comes out saying he needs a wee/poo and I don’t want to tell him to just go in his nappy because that’s the opposite of what we want to happen! But he knows we will help him with the toilet if he says that.

Hehe clever boy figured out what to say to not get ignored 😂🧸

Be kind to yourself. You're only human and sometimes you will loose it. You've not scared him he just had a little fright coz that's not how you normally talk to him. Emotions were hight and you both got overwhelmed but no you're not a bad mum. You're a mum trying her best x

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