Nervous to be a single mum to a 5 month old baby

My situation was different mine was abusive. I left my partner so many times and stupidly kept going back. One day something just snapped and I knew I was done. I raised my daughter from when she was born until 6 years old on my own. It was the best thing I did and I'm so much stronger now.

@Jess I’m so scared at the thought it being forever alone.. who’s going to want to be with a girl with a baby. Really terrifies me. We have had a lot of good times i genuinely thought he was my soulmate the way we clicked in the beginning was something I’ve never experienced. But recently I feel I’m finding out so much about him that I didn’t know. Feels like he’s living a lie and masked himself our whole relationship. He feels like an alien to me, why am I so scared to end it. It’s shocking what he’s been doing. It’s so nice you’ve had your happy ending.. I feel I’d never be lucky enough for that😩xx

Hi Chloe, first I’m very sorry for what you must be feeling right now and what you are going through. I know this is such a hard decision. I went through something very similar after I had my youngest baby with my current partner. I went through his phone while he was asleep and found some things that I didn’t expect nor like. I held it in for months out of worry of what his reaction would be for me going through his phone and of being a single mom to such a young baby. All that did was build resentment and create anxiety inside and eventually it all came out anyway. When I realized I couldn’t get past it, I moved out and during this time he made some major changes to show me that he was ready to be open and honest- including opening the access to his phone(I don’t go through it but prior, he didn’t share his password) and helping me work through when I’m feeling insecure. If he’s not willing to show you with actions that he cares, then leave. Nothing is worth your dignity.

@Chloe I honestly felt that too but I stopped looking and focused on my daughter and myself. Your worth more than your being treated no one deserves that. I stopped looking and bam my partner appeared. We've been together 3 years now, bought a house, have a 10 month old and trying for baby number 3 🥰🥰 It can happen I promise but it won't if you stay and let yourself be treated wrongly. You and your baby deserve more.

@Vanessa I feel like my heads going to explode I don’t know what to do. I want to confront it but so nervous how to. Yeah weirdly he done it before but naively didn’t expect to find anything. But this wasn’t just one or two this is continual and even planning on meeting up (very dirty talk) I feel disgusting I feel degraded I feel he doesn’t care for me whatsoever. How can you say you love someone and do this? I’ve forgiven before but this is completely different, he needs to go and it’s become very toxic recently we don’t even have a good relationship anymore. I’ll never be able to trust again he’s so so sneaky and secretive. It’s just dealing with it how to go forward I just wish someone would tell me what to do😩xx

Message me hun x

Just decide what you want and if you still want him then you'll have to confront him and deal with him and yourself and the relationship in depth. And make him do what he needs to do as well. If you decide you want to leave then realise it is the right thing to do. If you are terrified I'd suggest a separation then first. You are a beautiful mum and if it's a relationship truly desire you will get it when the tine is right. Trust me. Getting a man or husband is the easiest thing a woman can do even with multiple kids. Just put your kid first for now and everything will follow. All the best xx

I had similar, with the texting during pregnancy etc, turns out 3 years later I find out at the end of us he was already speaking to his next baby mum( we’re now friends) My friends told me to leave the first time while I was still pregnant and I did for a day till I realised I didn’t want to do it alone, now I’ve done it alone completely for nearly 4 years. It hurts and it’s hard but please don’t stay, that’s the only advice I can give, your baby deserves a happy mum and chances are he will continue to hurt you. But again only you can decide, can only offer advice, if you want to message feel free, I know it took me a long time to process and I had to talk about it loads before I decided what to do x

Hello, I had similar. My child’s father cheated on me while pregnant, I forgave him and found text messages between him and other girls afterwards. I knew the relationship was over, once is a mistake but I realized he kept reaching out to other women so this was a habit at this point. I recently broke up with him three weeks ago, and I feel so much better and free. Trust me it took me awhile to get here, I believe I had already mentally left the relationship months prior to physically breaking up with him. All I will say is, you ARE strong enough to look after you’re child if you choose this path, you deserve to be loved and respected. While it was hard in the beginning and I felt as maybe I disappointed my son in not giving him that two parent household, but when he’s older he will know that his mother left because she deserved respect. If this is what you choose to do it can be a whirlwind of emotions at first but, for me it was the best decision. I wish you the best either way! ❤️

Sending hugs. Baby comes first so don't Confront him until you are sure you can deal with the fallout. Take nap times to focus on you, breathing, journalling, make some kind of plan for how you are going to cope emotionally. A list of people you can ask for support. A list of things that boosts your mood. A list of things in your life you are grateful for which would not be changed by relationship issues. Listen to confidence affirmations. Journal your fears and anxieties to get them out and start to process. Then when it happens take it hour by hour, prioritise. E.g. baby being fed, clean and cuddled and you being fed and hydrated is most important. Then after that nap times, baby groups or other things people worry about which is not actually essential. Then comes emotional wellbeing, tummy time. Only then worry about house chores. If you need a sofa day then take it Haven't been through this but I have PPD and it can feel like head exploding too sometimes

@Alex beautifully written and explained. Tyfs.