Am I overreacting? (Venting..)

Sorry in advance for the long post! To put it in simple words SIL ignored me throughout my whole pregnancy. Not even once have I received a text or phone call from her to ask how me/baby or pregnancy in general is going, never. Fast forward to baby being born she will randomly text me and ask me how LO is doing. Yeah she won’t ask how I’m doing or even say hello, she will just text me a straight “how’s baby doing today”. This kind of annoys me because how can you think it’s okay to ignore someone during their whole pregnancy and now all of a sudden remember they exist but only for your own interests? Bear in mind I don’t have and never had any issues with her. I’m a very reserved person and won’t randomly text people if I don’t feel a connection strong enough with someone (which I never had with her) so I understand that she wouldn’t text me either (fair enough) but to continuously text someone you haven’t texted during their pregnancy at all to now texting me only to know about baby just seems disrespectful to me. Literally today she’s done it again and I haven’t even bothered to reply. Am I overthinking this? Ps.: I’ve spoke to husband about this but for some reason he never seems to have anything to say about it and doesn’t think it’s a big deal 😡

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Not overreacting at all! My partners whole family didn’t bother with me when pregnant didn’t ask me for updates scan pictures etc. I didn’t even see his sister til I was about to pop. Then when baby was born we asked for space for a 4 weeks and his mom and sister asked to come round 6 days after baby was born because they needed cuddles. We refused and it’s been rocky since. No one ever looks after the mom and asks how the mom is only the baby. I too spoke to my man and he didn’t see a problem. I don’t think men understand at all that you have carried a baby, birthed it and look after it and for people to only ask how baby is is just unfair and just shows how uncaring they are as without you there’s no baby. Xx

@Hannah I feel you! I know at least my husbands parents asked about scans and all that but that’s because they don’t speak English and we cannot communicate otherwise but I know they asked about me still. His sister however never did (not that I care and also she also has a masters in English so language is not a barrier for her). And even tho husband acknowledges that she never asked about me even to him he still doesn’t see an issue with her now trying to literally use me to access baby like what?! 🤯

This is my mil, never bothered having a relationship with me all those years before the baby and now she's wanting to see baby all the time. We saw her more in the first month than we had done in all the years prior. You're not overreacting, people can be so obsessed with babies.

@Chloe that’s so annoying! And worst part is we have to be the bigger person and not stoop to their level for the sake of baby! How do they think it’s acceptable to have a relationship with baby while ignoring mum?!

@Jay I’m upset that someone who ignores me most of the year has the audacity to text me only when she wants to know about baby without even bothering to either say hi or asking how I am. It’s the fact that she sees me as a way to access baby who doesn’t even deserve to be asked how they are even if out of politeness

It gets on my wick, if we didn't have a relationship before the baby we're not going to have one after tbh.

Need more context, like if she's a mum too, or if she actually ignored you or just didn't check in during your pregnancy. If you guys did still speak & she just didn't tend to text first and especially if she's not a mum yet herself then imo you're overreacting, sorry. I use to be that person because I didn't realise pregnancy was hard, nor that being a mum changes you. I saw my mum do it multiple times and it was always a breeze for her (as much as kids see anyway) so until I actually became a mum myself I didn't see that you were anything other than your normal everyday self. So while I didn't ignore friends, I didn't specifically check in on their pregnancy. Then I'd usually check in and ask how their baby was doing with completely good intentions. To be fair, I'm the younger one in most of my friend groups so I was about 18/22 while the friends in question were mostly in their late 20's. My SIL then did the same to me but she's got a heart of gold and I didn't take it as disrespectful at all.

I agree with your emotions, I feel the same for some people in my life. But I have been on the other side as well. I was so busy with my college assignments and internship that I hardly checked on my pregnant friend. She of course got offended, at that time I thought she was simply making a big fuss, what a big deal. But now I realise how important and difficult a pregnancy can be. So let it go don't hold on in the past. Just don't expect anything from anyone. If they ask well, if they don't ever better, one less person to deal with.