Overstepping MIL/mummy’s boy
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Why do you live with his mother? I had this situation but I would’ve ended up killing her if I still lived there with the baby. Can you not move onto different directions.. as long as you live with her and him you will come 3rd best x
@Ali thank you for your response, I haven’t said something very very similar to him (apart from the counselling part). He has a hard time accepting any criticism about his mum. His problem with me is that I’m not close enough to her I don’t make a big effort interacting with her etc. I have explained that I literally live with her 24/7 - there’s not much to talk about etc. She is saying things like I don’t like the atmosphere in this house, saying I’m cold towards her etc. she doesn’t bad mouth me to him directly But she does it in a sly way where he thinks she’s being nice/concerned about me lol. Sorry just to add I haven’t mentioned the not contacting me part either as I haven’t spoken to him.
@Nichola it is a cultural thing from their end. Mine also but I made it very clear to him that living with his mother wasn’t really my life dream lol. I was told she would be here now and then and spend lots of time abroad. Surprise surprise that hasn’t happened. Also she has nowhere else to go really. As she is single and hasn’t got family here. Obviously she could easily live alone as she’s is young and able. and she does have a property but it goes back to the cultural practices… Yeah definitely feel like I am not 1st. Although it wasn’t like this until a couple of months ago. Aside from what I have mentioned above, I am not sure what has happened and how we have gotten here. How did you navigate living together and then moving out? Was your partner supporter? I know my partner will never ever go for this which makes me feel very stuck.
You need to have a conversation with him without his mother around and frankly he needs to think about how you being separate at the moment is going to affect your little one (who should be priority, not his mother) While I admire his dedication to his mother that dedication should be extended to his new family. A marriage can’t work with 3 people. I’d be inclined to start small and maybe say you think it’s best for all 3 of you if his mum makes plans to go away for a break (good for her) but mostly great for you pair to have some time back together. The break will probably make him realise how needed it is. I appreciate it’s a cultural thing but his real responsibility should be to his young family not his mother who is a grown adult and responsible for herself. Hope you find a resolution!
I’ll be able to tell you next month lol I’m worried his mother will follow us 😂😂
“ hey I understand that you and your mom are really close and you respect her as a parent. However, moving forward, I need you and I to make parenting decisions together and I need not everything to be run past your mom. While you think nothing of this, it feels like you do not respect my position as our child’s mom. I need you and I and our baby to be a family unit, and I need your mom to be on the next level outside of that. I do not think it’s fair that I have had to leave our own home to get space, and that it doesn’t even seem to bother you That you have not connection with me without your mom. That is a huge slap in the face to our relationship as a couple. I am open to pastoral or professional counseling so that you and I can have a place to communicate with a neutral third-party. I think this could be very beneficial to us and we can figure out how to navigate our family moving forward.”