Just venting

My MIL was amazing up until I had my first kid. He quit breathing in my arms and had to be rushed off to the NICU. He had a lumbar puncture at around 12 hours old and was put on IV antibiotics for a week. I was traumatized and shut down and put all my energy into pumping and being there for my baby that I couldn’t even hold but for 30 min every 3 hours and I didn’t want to share that time with anyone except my husband (and I did that begrudgingly). My MIL took this very personal and then was even more upset that I returned the walker she bought him for Christmas. I already owned one that I had no intention of ever using and he’s currently 18 months and never used one. I traded it for toys I one he’d actually use. Anyways, I’m now a mom of 2 and have not seen or heard from her since July 2023. She didn’t reach out for my first kids first birthday, second Christmas, or birth of our second kid (which was much less eventful thankfully). She drives 3 hours every couple weeks to see her daughter’s kid but won’t drive 20 min to see mine. I found out last night that she isn’t going to put forth the effort to come visit us since we don’t put forth the effort to visit her. The woman had 6 babies and apparently does not understand how hard it is to leave the house with a baby much less 2. I only grocery shop when my kids are asleep and my husband is home. I’m strict with making sure they nap because if not they are a nightmare. At my home I have everything I need to care for them and at her home I have to bring so much stuff because she refuses to keep anything there that caters to my kids. I guess I’m just upset for my babies that they have such a useless grandma and I’m so grateful that my mom has been so hands on so at least my kids get one grandparent to love them.