I feel like being a wife & mum is like being a slave.

I think this is a very valid feeling if you have kids + an adult teenager home (aka husband). If you have a husband that share responsabilities as equal, there's no more slave but only 2 adults responsible for their kids. I m sorry you have to deal with that.

I don’t believe men ever share responsibilities equally... dont you do the majority of cooking and cleaning? Even if it’s 51% you and 49% him?

When you say “go back home to a house that was cleaned and food on the table” are you referring to your parents home?

@Hereforthechats yeah

I’ve never lived by myself so that’s my only comparison

Ah yes. At 36, it’s about 20 years since I lived my parents and even then I was the one that did most of the chores and cooking, but I understand how that transition must be challenging! It gets easier to balance it all. One tip I recommend us seeing if your partner can give you the house to yourself one day a week with no kids and no husband and would recommend you bump up your favorite album or playlist, clean what you can if you feel like it, and dance your heart out while you do it! It makes chores more fun, plus gives you time alone to do what YOU want on YOUR time. I dunno about your preferences, but I find taking an edible helps before I dig in to my house cleaning too. 🙏🪄🧹

I think feeling this way is 100% dependent on the partner you have. My husband and I share most responsibilities. He does dishes and laundry, cooks 1-2 nights per week, I cook 2-3 and we order out the rest of the time. We hire a house cleaner for deep cleaning. May be worth talking to your partner about how you’re feeling. Surely he doesn’t want you to feel this way

Also why are you doing sexual acts you don’t enjoy? That doesn’t sound fun at all

it can be if you let it get to that point

Girl I'm about the same... Even when my husband is home I feel like a slave... And I don't even have sex anymore I'm either tired or annoyed by my partner cuz he hasn't helped at all .. you would think 2 yrs of being a parent he knows what to do when to help but no he doesn't I still gotta ask for help 🙄

@Hereforthechats the edible comment 🤣👌🏻

@Caroline 🤔 I’m sure I’d enjoy doing it more if I was less tired. I do it to make my husband happy… I don’t think a blow job is a big ask … it’s just effort

@Yazmin 😅🤣 I’m glad we feel the same !

It isn't a big ask but him helping you out with cooking and cleaning is not a big ask either. Its his household and his children too. it works both ways.

My husband does the majority of the cooking and cleaning and I do the majority of the baby care. It is still exhausting and I feel like my freedoms have been stripped away from me as I’m breastfeeding. I am also in a different country and have less freedom and comfort than what I’m used to anyway. I also feel like my husband sees me as a vessel for our baby now, because my entire body and being has been and is being used for the baby. I mean, I see myself as a vessel too. It just feels like an endless charade of losing yourself to care for your family and house. I get where you’re coming from and I also miss the days I lived with my parents and didn’t have to worry what I would eat or what others would eat or if I need to go to the grocery store 🤣

I'm sorry that you have to deal with that. It seems like a very old fashioned relationship I think nowadays men should pull their weight including in the bedroom. If he gets head you should too. You shouldn't do anal if you don't enjoy it. He should do half the chores maybe not half of each chore but half of the total work. Or at least some! I do more than half and sometimes I cook because I want to cook or I want to eat healthier but the cooking is supposed to be my partners chore and he does it nearly every night. I do plan activities and the cleaning but I'm OK with it. Maybe you need to go on strike in the bedroom to get him to help more with nappies/cooking/cleaning?

A slave is crazy 😳 y'all gotta have the convos y'all have on here with these husbands. Never was I willingly finna go sleep with Massa after doing all his chores and watching his kiddos🤦🏾‍♀️😭 Jokes aside🫠 I will say I hate making 3 meals a day for little one but it's a good habit for me to start bmgiving most days I only ate once n had a lot of girl dinners. I think this is the mentality only because u (like myself) didn't have a period of living on your own. So u went from having people “take care of u” to being “responsible” of taking care of an entire house. I would divy up some things between u and ur partner both for the kids and the house. That and planning ahead, make a schedule for each day and menu for each week(breakfast lunch and dinner) this is what works best for me and it a major uplift for my mental because it's not all on me. Infants and toddler are draining ontop of feeding urself and another person consider ur already cooking. I find scheduling it out helps a lot!

I haven't had my first baby yet but I picture what my life will be like after I do and this sums it up. The thing is, I'm excited for it. I thoroughly enjoy cleaning, cooking etc. I know it will be harder to find time to do things with a baby but when I take a look at what my husband will be doing, I much prefer to be the wife. My husband will be working all the time and shift work. He will miss a lot of our baby's firsts, he will miss out on family time. I believe both roles are hard and have their pros and cons but this is what I'm signing up for. I do think that's why a lot of people my age have decided not to have children because they take up your life day in and day out. But for me, I can't wait to experience that. I don't need freedom of young age, I was born to be a mother. And if you need nights out, is there anyone who could babysit for you? It is very important to also have that time for you and your boyfriend!!!

@Joelle definitely prioritize time for the relationship!